In honor of fathers, everywhere...

Who would’ve thought there’d be even a minor controversy surrounding something as simple as the origins of Fathers’ Day!

Some say the first was held on July 5, 1908 in a humble little church in Fairmount, West Virginia, while others insist credit goes to Sonora Smart Dodd who, in 1909 in another humble church in Sonoma, Washington, decided while listening to a Mothers’ Day sermon that it was high time we honored our dads, too. By 1910, she’d convinced a few friends and neighbors to join her, and since her own sweet dad was born in June….

By 1913, a bill was introduced to make it an official national holiday, but few paid the idea any mind until President Calvin Coolidge put his considerable weight behind it in 1924. It didn’t take long for tie makers and greeting card manufacturers to figure out there was money to be made if they could convince the populace to quit makin’ fun of a day dedicated to Dear Old Dad. In the 1930s, a collection of trade groups formed a national committee, intent on legitimizing the sales…er…holiday. But it wasn’t until President Lyndon Johnson issued a proclamation in 1966 that the third Sunday in June was recognized as an official Federal holiday. Wonder if they knew that the Romans celebrated their dads every February? (The major difference…their tribute was for pops who’d passed away.)

Like so many things originated in the U.S., Fathers’ Day caught on in a big way, and these days, it is celebrated in Australia, New Zealand, England, Russia, Germany, Denmark, Ireland, and dozens of other countries.

Some fun (if not weird) facts about dads, compiled by the U.S. Census:

26.5 million…the number of fathers who were part of married-couple families with children younger than 18 in 2006;

2.5 million…the number of single fathers in 2006…up from 400,000 in 1970; among single parents living with their children, 19% are men;

63%...the number of children younger than 6, living with married parents, who were praised three or more times a day by their fathers. The corresponding number for children living with unmarried fathers was 57 % (from the U.S. Census Bureau????);

159,000…the estimated number of stay-at-home dads in 2006. These married fathers with children younger than 15 (which number approximately 283,000) have remained out of the labor force for more than one year to care for the family while their wives work outside the home.

30%...# of children younger than 6, living with married parents, who ate breakfast with their father every day. The corresponding number for children living with unmarried fathers? 41 %. What’s up with that!

64%...# of children younger than 6, living with married parents, who ate dinner with their fathers every day…while 66% of kids living with unmarried dads did the same. (I repeat: What’s up with that?)

It might surprise you to learn that the necktie really is the most common Fathers’ Day gift, and that the rose is the official Fathers’ Day flower. (Wear red if he’s living, white if he’s deceased).

So did your dad ever say:

When I was your age....

My father told me that….

Drive defensively!

Do you think I’m made of money?

Money doesn’t grow on trees!

Please, go ask your mother.

One of my all-time favorite “Dad” articles, written by the ever-popular and always-astute Erma Bombeck is titled “When God Created Fathers”:

When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."

And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"

And when God made a father's hands, they were large and sinewy.

And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do You know what You're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."

God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day yet small enough to cup a child's face."

Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.

The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do You realize You just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"

God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do You honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You’ll see. They'll support a small child who wants to "ride a horse to Banbury Cross" or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.

Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"

And the angel shutteth up!

Ahh, Erma, we miss you!

In closing, here’s a poem I’ve long enjoyed that sums up Dads in just a few short lines. I hope you’ll enjoy it, too:

What Makes A Dad

Author Unknown

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... Dad

To my dad, to the father of my children, to men everywhere who (sometimes) respond when kids say “Dad?”, HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY!

Next Fathers’ Day is June 18, 2010, so mark your calendars!

Oh...and that adorable guy in the picture? My own sweet hubby, holding our then-one hour old grandson, Warner. Now that is what Fathers' Day is all about!

Win a Copy of Love Finds You in Paradise, Pennsylvania!

If you're enjoying this gorgous picture of Paradise, Pennsylvania, you can thank talented photographer Gene Cook. The more I look at this shot, the more I could look at this shot!


I'm sure you'll recognize the town's name as soon as I remind you this is where those horrific Amish schoolgirl shootings took place several years ago. Amazing, isn't it, that even something that evil and ugly wasn't able to mar the magnificent vistas.

You can learn even more about this quaint little town in my next release, Love Finds You in Paradise, Pennsylvania. Set in and around Paradise, the novel features one fictional Amish family as very important secondary characters.

But imagine traveling to quaint cities and towns all over the U.S. ... without ever having to leave the comfort of your easy chair! That's exactly what Summerside Press accomplishes with every Love Finds You title.

You'll pay visits to the nearby Wolf Sanctuary of Pennsylvania, where you'll interact with the real residents who call these twenty-some acres home. You'll enjoy a big country breakfast at the beautiful historical bed and breakfast situated on the property, and share a rib-sticking mid-day feast atthe Gunden's kitchen table. (And thanks to little Levi, you'll hear all about how pigs are slaughtered in the family's "killing room"!)

But don't be fooled by the peaceful and serene artwork on the novel's cover... A troubled teen commits a deadly crime that has a hideous and lasting affect on every character in the story.

Though Simon and Julia aren't related to the Gundens, their love for the Plain family is as deep and as real as any forged by blood. When the brutal and atrocious murder steals one of the Gunden's children, the couple's new love is put the the ultimate test. Wolf howls and human tears will mix to test your compassion.



Love Finds You in Paradise, Pennsylvania is available online now, and will be delivered to bookstores near you this April. If you can't find it where you shop, be sure to let me know, and I'll do what I can to see to it the title shows up, soon!



Leave a comment here or on my web site (http://www.loreelough.com/) for a chance to win an autographed copy of the novel!

Looking forward to hearing from you. Meanwhile, here's hoping the joys of spring are sprouting all around you!

All my best,
Loree

Valentine's Day, Loree Style

Well, if that don't beat all. Another Valentine's Day is upon us. Seems like I only packed up the Christmas decorations a week or so ago, and here I am, baking heart-shaped cookies for the grandkids and planning to comb my hair and put on makeup (NOT a typical Saturday undertaking) for dinner with my darlin' hubby.
We've never gone in for extravagant February 14th gifts. A meaningful card with a thoughtful verse inside, a box of chocolates (from him to me), a favorite meal (from me to him) and we're one happy duo.

When I 'Googled' the date, I discovered a whole long list of Anti-Valentine's Day web sites, and the sole purpose of each is to do everything possible to erase the date from the calendar...at least as a 24 hour love fest. Maybe if we all focused more on the history of the holiday, we'd have an easier time, uh, celebrating....

Let's keep in mind that it started out as a pagan tradition, way back in the third century. Now, anyone who knows me well understands how fond I am of canus lupus. There weren't many like me back then, when ravenous wolves lurked Rome's borders, hoping some sleepy shepherd had nodded off so they could grab a free meal. So the shepherds called upon the god Lupercus to protect two- and four-legged from fang and claw. The Feast of Lupercalia was celebrated every February, to ensure Lupercus's continued guardianship over themselves and their flocks.

As part of the feast, Romans honored the goddess Juno Februata by putting girls' names into a box, so they could be partnered with young boys, and they'd walk around holding hands and looking google-dee-eyed at one another until the next feast. This practice continued long after the wolves left Rome for better pickins.

Then along came Christianity, when priests made it their business to stamp out such heathen practices. In place of the partnering ritual honoring Juno Februata, church big wigs renamed the feast St. Valentine's Day and substituted saints' names. Kids of both sexes pulled slips of paper from boxes or urns, and the name each chose was the saint they were supposed to emulate until next St. Valentine's Day.

Alas, we're a weak-spirited bunch, we humans, and by the fourteenth century, we'd reverted to 'girls only' names yet again.

Depending which version of history you read, there are as many as seven men who went by the name "Valentine", and one or all are linked to various feasts, celebrated on February 14th. It's interesting to note that only two boast stories interesting enough to give lasting meaning to St. Valentine's Day.

Valentine Number One was well-loved by all...at the worst possible time in the reign of the Emperor Claudius. See, old Claud was having big trouble finding soldiers to fight the wars he'd started, hither and yon, seeing as the able-bodied went all gooey at the very thought of leaving wives and kids and sweethearts behind. Perturbed by this chronic gooey-ness, the Emp ruled that no marriages could take place until all warring had ended.

The well-loved Valentine One didn't become well-loved for no good reason.... Soon, word got around that he was more than happy to thumb his nose at the ridiculous ruling by performing secret marriage ceremonies. If Claud was ticked when he couldn't round up willing fighters, imagine how enraged that news made him! He tossed Val One into prison, and left him there until he died...on February 14th. Lest it be said the Emperor wasn't all bad, let us remember that he allowed Val's friends to cart off his remains and bury them in a Roman churchyard.

And then there's Valentine Number Two, thrown into jail for helping those annoying Christians. Whatever was he thinking, curing a jailer's daughter of blindness while behind bars! Yep, Claud got word of that, too, and since Val Two was already in prison, what choice did he have but to club the poor miracle worker to death, then chop off his head...on (you guessed it) February 14, 269 A.D. (Ugly rumors persist that the real cause of the Emperor's fury was that instead of a cure for blindness, Valentine stole the heart of the jailer's daughter, and wrote numerous letters signed "From your Valentine.")

Eventually--much like the so-called history books in today's American classrooms--the seven Valentines got rolled into one, and in the year 496, Pope Gelasius proclaimed February 14th the day to honor St. Valentine, who either performed the miracle of giving sight to a sightless girl...or infused her heart with everlasting love....

And so it was that the collective Valentines became the patron saints of lovers. As Christianity became more prevalent, priests continued to replace old heathen practices.

So, you ask, how'd we get from prayerful reverence to cards, candy, and flowers?Well, remember those letters that may have been signed "From your Valentine"?

And how the practice grew! These days, a billion Valentine cards are exchanged every February 14th, making it #2 in card sales to Christmas. I find it tough to believe that 83% of those cards are purchased by women, but that's what statistics say....

Because Valentine's Day is responsible for a whopping 32% of their annual sales, florists love the holiday. And here's a stat I do believe: 73% of posie purchasers are men. 110 million roses (mostly red) will be delivered to sweethearts on or slightly before Throbbing Heart Day.

Which brings us to the question: Why red? Well, it's the symbol of warmth, passion, and love. And since all that stuff inspires the ol' ticker to tock, it wasn't a great leap to adopt the 'shape' of the heart as the universal symbol of love.

But...why all the heart-shaped stuff? For the answer to that, some historians hearken back to the ancient Romans, who borrowed the symbol from the Babylonians, for whom "bal" meant "heart", and "bal", don't y'know, was a symbol of Nimrod, Lord of the Babylonians...aka Cupid...often depicted as an adorable li'l guy whose bare butt is, well, sorta heart-shaped. (What can I say? There were no video games back then, no TV, no movies. People's imaginations were way out there!)

On a final note, may I humbly point out that Alexander Graham Bell decided to patent his oh-so-famous invention on February 14th, 1876.So pick up the phone. Call your mother, and wish her a happy Valentine's Day. If that doesn't make her howl with gratitude, I don't know what will!

Reminiscin' an' snifflin'

Cleaned my office today, and as I ran the dust rag over the photo of my li'l kitty, a lump formed in my throat. Though she's been gone nearly six years, I still miss her. Lots.

She wasn't an easy feline to love. At least, not for most folks. For a reason only Mouser knows, she 'took' to me, right from the get-go. The "keep away or else!" behavior displayed toward others? She was quite the opposite with me.

And so, nostalgia prompted me to pen a poem. (Bear with me; rhyming ain't my thing!):

No Cats in Hell
Once I had a little cat
and Mouser was her name.
Every day, in every way,
that cat, she was the same.
She'd carry on and fuss and spit
and whine and mew and fume,
making life a living heck...
...or so one would assume.

But she was like a pinch of salt
when life-like stew--was bland.
That's why God sent her to me
with her recipe so grand.
A taste is all I needed,
and that is what He planned.

Then one day He said to her
"Now you've salted Loree's stew;
it's time I take you home again,
'cuz I've got plans for you.
So tiptoe up into her lap
and lick her on the cheeks,
like the Eskimo way of saying 'bye'
when they are feeling weak.

And one more thing," God intoned,
"be sure you let her know
how much you enjoyed the Fancy Feast
and other gifts bestowed
by the gal who was your dearest pal
and loved you oh so well.
Let her know you'll be in heaven,
cuz there are no cats in hell."

To Procrastinate or Not

So....weird thing happened this morning.

I took one of those emailed-online quizzes entitled “Are You a Procrastinator?”

It’s a sore subject with me, since in my opinion, it’s something I do way too much. Four pages of Q&A later, I got my score, and whoa, what a surprise.
But I’m not going to share the number with you...yet. First, I’ll share some stuff I learned about procrastination:

The word, as you likely know, comes from the Latin procrastinare, and literally means “to delay or postpone”. Think Scarlet O’Hara, whose personal mantra was “I’ll just worry ‘bout that tomorrow.” At the opening of Gone with the Wind, the dark-haired beauty had a parade of servants to help her tick things off her to-do list. As war raged around her and her life was big-time rearranged, her attitude toward leaving things undone changed. Dramatically. Yet she still found opportunities to spout the famous quote a time or two…

Shrinks agree that one of the main reasons we procrastinate is fear. (If we don’t do a thing at all, how can we fail at it?) Trouble with that mindset, though, is procrastination is self-sabotage. Every action or thought that keeps us from performing becomes an obstacle, blocking forward motion…and our attempts to succeed.

A few interesting tid-bits about procrastination:

Procrastinators are made, not born. Maybe we watched Mom and Dad put stuff off, and picked up the bad habit as kids. And maybe we developed the habit to rebel against ‘by the book’ parents.

Procrastinators actively look for ways to avoid ‘stuff’. If we’re distracted by barking dogs or blaring sirens, well, is that our fault? If we don’t feel like doing…whatever…we substitute other chores, then tell ourselves “At least I wasn’t just sitting around, wasting time!”

In general, people don’t take procrastination seriously. At least, not seriously enough. If somebody promised to do something for us, but let us down? We accept their flimsy excuses, even when we don’t believe them. Which means we've granted them permission to behave irresponsibly, and absolved them from feeling accountable.

Statistics show that more than 20% of Americans feel they’re procrastinators. They’re late with their bills. Late to work. Late sending cards and gifts. Late turning in projects. Are they lazy? Deluded? Selfish and/or self-centered? Crazy? (All of the above?)

Procrastination forces prevarication. That is, in order to continually excuse our own bad behavior, we have to lie, not just to the people we’ve disappointed, but to ourselves. And the worst kinda lie we can tell is the one we tell ourselves.

Perfectionism and procrastination are bunk mates. Dotting every ‘i’ and crossing every ‘t’ is just as good a reason not to deliver what we’ve promised as alphabetizing the spice rack or color-coding the closet. (A neat house might be easy on the eye, but it doesn't get the bills paid!)

And did you know that procrastinators have a much higher incidence of alcohol and drug addiction? Couple of possible explanations for that: One—we tell ourselves we’re gonna quit ‘after this next one”. And two (and I think this is the reason)—we 'partake' to hide from overwhelming guilt, shame and self-loathing. And why wouldn’t we feel that way! It isn’t as if we can hide from ourselves…and the damage we’ve done or the hurt feelings our procrastination has caused.

So what do we do about it?

We get tough on ourselves, that’s what. We decide what we really want out of life, then figure out how to make it happen.
We write serious To Do lists that are physically and mentally do-able.
We admit we’re human. As such, we’re not perfect, and we never will be.
We start a journal of sorts, so we can track our progress, so we can see in black and white how many tasks we’ve completed…and how few people we’ve disappointed.

Now back to the procrastination quiz.
I scored 32 out of a possible 100 points which, according to the pros who crafted the test, means I don't procrastinate very often, after all. That got me to thinkin’ about why I thought I was guilty of frequent procrastination, and 'me-n-it' coexist on a daily basis. Yeah, I sometimes put stuff off…but never if it’ll cost me. (I’d rather eat razor blades than break a promise. To anyone. Turning a project in late wouldn’t just disappoint my agent and editors, it’d make me look like unprofessional. And I’d just as soon swallow molten lava as have that said about me. By anyone.)

But human nature being what it is, I saw that 32% nearly every time I blinked. And thought to myself, ...lotsa wiggle room between there and 100%....

Then reality smacked me up-side the head, and underscored why—though I would’ve bet my shiny new laptop that I’d be labeled a procrastinator with a capital P—I’m not as bad as I thought I was.

The final line of my score is what I’ll focus on: “Procrastination can be a major setback in reaching your goals. With 32%, there is still room for improvement, so be conscious of the times that you do procrastinate and make an effort to stay on track.”

Excellent advice. And it'd still be excellent advice, even if I’d scored 75%...or higher.

So go forth, m’friends, and do not put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today.

Love FInds You in Paradise Pennsylvania

Guess what I just found out?

...there's a site on the World Wide Web whose sole purpose is to provide needed items for U.S. soldiers, serving overseas?

How I missed it is anybody's guess, especially considering it's been around for five years. Yes, five years! But now that I know, I'm gonna howl at the top of my lungs until a whole lot more Americans are aware it exists!

www.anysoldier.com and www.treatanysoldier.com exists so that ordinary citizens like you and me can do our part to thank the brave men and women who put their lives every day they're 'over there' for the sole purpose of keeping us all safe and sound. Most of us can't don uniforms and march the streets looking for potential threats, but we can do this!

Lists (of who needs what and how to get it into their hands) will help you determine just what to send. You can write to the soldiers, too, or comment on the many truly funny jokes they've posted. There are brief bios for each man and woman, so you'll know what rank and branch of the military they're serving.

Seriously, folks, it doesn't matter one whit how you intend to vote on November 4th (as long as you do it). What does matter is that these brave men and women have earn our support every time they button their cammo shirts and lace up their boots. Every last one of us should feel duty-bound to dig deep and share as much as our budgets (and our consciences) will allow.

Okay. That's it. End of my post for today.

Can't wait to hear how many of you have packed up stuff that'll help make a soldier's days a little less scary...and a lot more homey. What better way to say THANK YOU!

Meanwhile, write on, m'friends!
Loree

To Teach or Not to Teach. Oy, what a question!

Hey all!

Meet Casper, a resident of the Wolf Sanctuary of Pennsylvania and one of the major-minor characters in my latest novel (to be released April, 2009). She's a lone wolf, and has to fight for every scrap of food, every treat, every nanosecond of human affection and visitors' attention. (Personally? I think the other wolves are just jealous cuz she's a natural blonde...especially the girl wolves. But if knowing what a human woman is thinking and/or feeling is tough, imagine trying to figure out what's goin' on in the mind of a female wolf!

What's that got to do, you ask, with today's topic? I thought you'd never ask!

In order to learn all the fascinating and amazing facts that're now stored in my thick-skulled head, I've had to do some serious research, which has included hanging around with people who, thanks to decades of one-on-one work with the magnificent creatures, understand what makes wolves tick...individually and as a pack. So in addition to their limitless patience and deep love for all things wild, these amazing men and women have been excellent teachers.

I can almost see the glare of that light bulb that just lit above your li'l noggin! Yep...right you are...the professionals and volunteers who care for wolves are teachers, just like li'l ol' me. Teaching folks about writing isn't all that different from teaching wolf enthusiasts about canis lupus. We're all a little wild and crazy the first few times we park our butts in front of a computer screen, paws hovering above the keyboard to craft our debut novel. (Oh, who am I kidding? We're always a little wild and crazy...we're writers!)

But I digress....

While we're in the process of 'learning the ropes', we don't know who 'in the industry' we can trust. How much research is really necessary? What's the right balance of dialog and narrative? Should we join a critique group? Good idea to attend conferences? Smart to enter contests? The list of questions goes on and on!

Then we get a lucky break. An agent or editor takes a chance on us. We sell something! And oh, what a wake up call, seeing the 'offer' on our first contract. It's never as much as we'd hoped. It's definitely not as much as friends and relatives presume, but we're thrilled with our paltry advance check. Sadly, the thrill wears off as we grind through the process, from Idea to Development to Submission and the long long editing process that precedes publication. The real eye-opener is trying to make that advance check stretch until our first royalties payment arrives. (Those of us who've distanced ourselves from church find ourselves back in the building, down on our knees, praying the check will have a comma in it!)

We have to learn about marketing and promotions, because these days, unless your name is John Grisham or Ann Tyler, publishers do not invest in cross-country book tours. There are book signings, bookmarks, postcards, newsletters, and a dizzyingly lengthy list of 'stuff we must do' to help sell our books.

So how do we make ends meet while all that's going on? Between the advance and royalties checks? (Between 'this' book and 'that' book's advance and royalties checks?)

I have writer pals who don disguises, so their friends and family members don't recognize them in their waitress aprons, McDonald's caps, plumbers' tool belts, and cleaning lady sweatsuits.

Me? I do stuff that relates to writing.

I write articles about writing. I give speeches on writing. But mostly, I teach writing. Everything from Where Do Writers Get Ideas to How to Submit a Professional Proposal. Fact is, I've been teaching my "Build a Better Novel" classes since the 1990s. I've been to Canada and Europe and a whole lot of cities in the good old U S of A, sharing learned-the-hard-way lessons about the craft and the industry with members of a whole host of writers' organizations. I've taught online. In college and university classrooms. At corporations that encourage their employees to write. I've taught one hour classes. Three hour sessions. Weekend workshops. Founded "Leading Edge Writers Studios" to help writers at every ability level figure out what's missing from their own learned-the-hard-way lessons...things that keep them getting that first contract...or switching gears to make the leap from one genre to another...or stall careers.

Teaching paid a few bills at my house over the years. It also helped garner some free publicity (as schools and organizations 'hawked' the upcoming events in an attempt to increase attendance). I've loved every blessed minute, loved seeing those 'light bulb moments' in the eyes of my students. Loved reading their manuscripts. Loved sharing the joys of their victories. And loved 'being there' to assure them that even the agony that accompanies every rejection is temporary.

But teaching, sadly, hasn't kept up with inflation. These days, believe it or not, it's actually costing me money to teach. And since I'm whittling time from my writing schedule to update and photocopy handouts, to show up on time for every session, to edit and critique student submissions...well, I think you can foresee where I'm going with this....

So when the local college approached me to see if I planned to re affiliate in 2009, I had to ask myself a tough question: Could I afford to say yes?

The answer was even tougher than the question. Because if I hope to stay on the right track in this oh-so-competitive industry, I literally can't afford to say yes!

Will I miss sharing things with hopeful, talented writers? You bet I will! Will I miss seeing their eyes light up every time an "I get it now!" moment happens? Absolutely! Will I miss helping them understand that with perseverance, persistence, and patience, they'll achieve their goals? Sure I will!

I'll have to do all of that from a distance now, in a 'word of mouth' kind of way. And isn't it a dirty rotten shame that this part of my writing life...the 'play it forward' part I've so enjoyed...must end!

I refuse to see the situation as a slamming door. Instead, it's a different door, opening to a whole new phase of my writing life. Just as my students hope for that magical moment, when an editor or agent calls to say "We want to offer you a contract!", I hope that along the way, I can continue mentoring and making friends with those who share my publication dreams.

In the meantime, I'll keep cranking out blog posts we can share triumphs and tragedies of The Writing Life. Come back often. Come back soon. Share how you handle victory...and defeat. Keep letting me know when I've hit the proverbial nail on the head...and when I've banged your thumb, instead.

Next post? The launch of bright shiny new contests where you can win cool stuff. No...not just novels by Loree Lough (though, to be sure, there will be a few of those!), but how-to books, jewelry, wolf collectibles, and more. Share the contest info with your friends, family, and neighbors. Spread the wealth!

Until next time, keep writing, m'friends, and as they say in Ireland "May you never miss a rainbow because you're looking down".

All my best,

Loree

Professional Envy, an Ugly Thing

We're taught from an early age not to envy others...or what they have. Score another one for moms everywhere, because boy, did they know what they were talkin' about on that score or what?

I was just talking with a writer pal who'd been talking about another writer pal who'd just slam-dunked a multi-book contract with a major New York house. Big fat advance, higher-than-normal royalties, book tour, ads in the NY Times, the whole schlameezel. Amid my woo-hoos and atta girls, my pal slipped in a couple of snide remarks--punctuated with giggles, lest I think she's envious--which got me t'thinkin' about the sometimes dark and dangerous subject of professional envy.

But before delving deeper into this quicksand-like subject, let's define the difference between envy and jealousy:

Jealousy, for the most part, involves three people (you, your lover, your lover's lover), whereas envy concerns two (you, and that no-talent hack who got a book contract on the heels of your latest rejection). Envy isn't resentment, longing, or desire. Envy is more malicious than that. It's what prompts a seemingly nice person like my writer pal to make wise cracks that smack of, well, envy!

Simply put, envy is the result of wanting something somebody else has. Doesn't matter much if that something is a better car, a bigger house, a nicer vacation, a prettier face, a more curvaceous figure, or a book contract. Envy is the ugly emotion that made my usually nice writer pal a bona fide member of the Greedy Pig Club (hereafter referred to as GP). GPs rarely take into account that the object of their envy worked hard for many years to achieve whatever it is they have that turns others into green-eyed monsters. Instead, GPs become angry and resentful, and if gone unchecked, their envious behavior can turn a friend into an enemy.

Thomas Aquinas said "Envy according to the aspect of its object is contrary to charity ... charity rejoices in our neighbor's good, while envy grieves over it." The GPs of the world will not be happy to hear you've just made the best deal of your career. Why? Because they want what you've got. And rather than admit they could have it, too, if they'd pay the price you paid to get it, they narrow their eyes and purse their lips and cuss (not always under their breath) while madly scribbling 'how in the hell did that happen?' and 'ways I'd like to torture her' and 'why not me' lists.

Aristotle defined envy as "the pain caused by the good fortune of others". Right on, Ari! Cuz make no mistake, m'friends: GPs suffer big time when peers' careers advance!

Of all the emotions out there, two scare me and tick me off more than the rest. Envy is one of 'em. It didn't become one of the Seven Deadly Sins by happenstance. It wasn't the inspiration for poetry, movies, or songs 'just cuz'. It wasn't carved onto stone tablets cuz God was thinkin', "Well, they're good people, but just in case...."

Envy has been around since the dawn of Man. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that Cave Man A clubbed Cave Man B to death because he envied the size of B's...cave. (Though, technically, that would fall more into the 'jealousy' category. But it started out as envy.) It isn't new to stories, nor is it new in stories; Shakespeare included it in Othello and The Merchant of Venice, to name just two.

But I digress.

My most memorable experience with envy occurred some years ago, after I'd earned dozens of book contracts. I happily mentored a woman whom I believed to be a close personal friend, devoting countless hours to editing and critiquing her manuscripts in the hope she could join me on Published Authors Row. She managed to win one contest, get one short stories included in my friend's anthology, but never managed to get That Book published the traditional way. (If she'd taken my advice, might a publisher have offered a contract? If she'd made some of my suggested changes, would she have been forced to self-publish the book? Who knows.)

But again, I digress....

I had many more years in the business and a nose-to-the-grindstone attitude, but that never entered her head. Envy of what I'd achieved began eating away at our relationship. She grew angry and edgy, spiteful and resentful, and showed it in her rude behavior and cutting comments. I chalked it all up to a snobbish, domineering, know-it-all slob of a spouse, rather than admit she'd started seeing me as a rival.

Then one day, while I was recuperating from a serious illness, she visited. As I sipped tea, she asked to borrow my copy machine. I didn't have the energy to accompany her into my office, but she'd been a friend for more than a decade, had been in there dozens of times. Never crossed my mind that she'd steal from me.

It wasn't until weeks later, when I read an item in a writers' organization newsletter, that I realized she'd visited with a calculating and deliberate purpose: To photocopy my lesson plans and an important business plan (one of a dozen things she stole that afternoon) and pass them off as her own.

But don't feel sorry for me, dearies, because I wasn't the real victim, here. It was my GP. What's more, I believe she saw herself as a victim, as well. (I've since figured out she's also a raging narcissist, but that's a whole other blog.) Envy, for her, came with feelings of entitlement that helped her rationalize the crimes she'd committed. (That, and like all good narcissists, she found another author to 'feed' offa.) She resented me to the point of hatred for having accomplished what she wished she could have accomplished. Was it low self-esteem, self-loathing, or laziness that blinded her to the fact that I worked for everything I have, struggled to reach every goal in my life, including those of 'the writing kind'? Only she knows the answer to that.

The power of her envy prompted every thought and action, allowed her to rationalize away all the bad stuff she'd said and done. Envy is like that, see. It gets inside you and, if you let it, behaves like a hungry parasite, feeding on what used to be your good nature, your pride and dignity, your honesty.

To paraphrase Bertram Russell, envy is one of the major causes of unhappiness. That's putting it mildly, cuz that gal, m'friends, is still one of the unhappiest human beings I've had the displeasure of knowing.

Let's not forget that envy is a very normal human emotion, one that impacts all of us at one time or another, regardless of social class, race, religion, age, or gender. Most of us quickly get it under control, but if left unchecked, it's powerful and dangerous.

But envy can be a very good thing...

...if it inspires us to work harder, reach farther, broaden our horizons, improve who or what we are in an attempt to 'grow' to the heights of those we admire.

Call me Pollyanna, but when I hear that a friend, acquaintance, relative, or neighbor finally got the car they've been saving for, moved into the home of their dreams, returned from an adventurous vacation, signed a book contract, or saw one of their novels turned into a movie, I'm genuinely happy for them! The joy of their successes and achievements spills onto me. How can that be a bad thing!

So, alla you writers out there, next time you feel a twinge of envy because one of your pals moved up a rung on the Writing Ladder of Success, don't wallow in self-pity. Don't speculate which relative is the editor or agent who made it all possible. Don't trod on her talents. Don't call her everything but an author. Turn in your Greedy Pig Club membership card, immediately!

Then write her a note. Tell her how happy you are about her good news. Say "High fives!" and "Thumbs up!" Then get on your knees and pray like crazy that fifty more of your writer pals will move up another rung, so you can write each of them a similar note.

I guarantee that by the time you sign that 50th "Congratulations!" card, you'll actually mean it.

Until next time, keep writing...and before you know it, your writer friends will be high-fiving and thumbs-upping you!

Oh...and the other emotion that scares me and ticks me off? Self-pity. Don't worry, I'll save that one for another blog. hehehehehehe

Is it venting, or is it writing? (Or is it both?)

It's been a while since my last blog entry, so let me start by saying HOW THE HECK ARE Y'ALL!

Me? Oh, I'm fine'n'dandy. Right as rain. Sound as the dol...no, I'm in way better shape than that. Life here in my neck of the woods is just plain goooooooooood.

But that doesn't mean I can't find something to complain about. (I'm a woman after all; b-i-you-know-what-ing comes naturally to us.)

Today's gripe?

Maybe I'm 'dating' myself, but I've lived and breathed long enough to remember when the FCC had some control over stuff that ended up inside every boob tube. Some brilliant-oso decided it was in our best interests to keep advertisers from hawking all tobacco products via television airwaves. Ditto booze. And an unwieldy list of other stuff that, because we can't dot an "i" or cross a "t" without the government's help, they got rid of. For our own good. And nobody knows better than Big Brother what's for our own good.

Unfortunately, Big Brother sees no harm in TV ads for tampons. Hmpf! I once read about a young lass who put one of those babies where the sun didn't shine; she needed ER assistance to remove it. Think of the consequences if it hadn't been removed quickly.

Remember the story about the silly woman who thought Lemon Pledge was an iced tea flavoring? She got oh-so-sick, I tell you, but did that prompt Big Brother to enforce a "No Scented Cleaning Products" ban?

People hear promises to cure baldness. Improperly used, well...all I can say is...this could become one warm and fuzzy nation, yet nobody has seen fit to cut those commercials.

But I digress. The real source of my distress isn't what is being advertised. It's the volume of those commercials that annoys me. Honest...I've done numerous tests, right here in my cozy family room. On my TV set, programs air at Volume Level Eight, whereas the average volume of commercials is (get this!) THIRTY. So my question to Big Brother is...isn't noise pollution a hazard? Isn't it dangerous for us all? (The only reason I can think of to explain why the FCC has completely relaxed its legally-enforceable rules and regulations throughout the country is...they've bought Miracle Ear stock. Lots and lots of Miracle Ear stock.

You may be asking when I intend to address the opening question of this blog: Is it venting, writing, or both?

It's both. Because I can't possibly be the only American who resents having manufacturers and service industries blasting company-related information at decibel levels that literally vibrate my window panes. Surely there are citizens who fear that one day, blood will ooze from their ears during one of those omygawd-that-is-WAY-too-loud advertisements.

Maybe instead of wasting our time on 'let's not buy gas on Tuesday; that'll show those greedy oil producing honchos a thing or two about price-gouging!' boycotts (which do no good whatever, anyway, since people instinctively buy gas the day before or after), we should write the people who pay to make these screaming-yelling-bellowfest commercials. Let's inform them that, until they lower the volume, we ain't buying their tampons, deodorants, cleaning products, cars, or Miracle Ears, period!

See, the way I look at it, when our written words have an impact, when they improve the world, even in some small way, we've used our talents wisely.

Well, that's it for this installment of The Lough Down, ladies and gents. Now I'm off to begin my List of Offensive Commercials. Tomorrow, I'll send letters of complaint to every company on it.

And if you do the same, maybe we can help the poor 'nobody respects us' FCC take back control of their own rules and regulations!

(Hey...if Lady Bird Johnson could start a campaign to get rid of hideous highway signs, why can't we clean up the airwaves by eliminating those deafening commercials!)

'Til next time, dearies, take care!

Loree

The Write Stuff at Christmastime

Merry Christmas, everybody! (And y'know what? My Jewish, Buddist, and Muslim friends tell me it isn't in the least bit offensive, and none of them understand why the media has made it a politically incorrect wish, either.)

I should begin by admitting I'm not a "Christmas person". I go through the motions, because my kids and grandkids love all the hooplah. And my husband? Good grief. He's a bigger kid this time of year than the kids are! So I decorate (and people say "Has Martha Stewart been here?"), and I bake (and they ask "Did you inherit Julia Childs's secret recipes?".

One of my least favorite 'get ready' chores is the shopping, because for cryin' out loud, stuff's expensive. And what if I forget somebody? (I believe the whole Hatfield-McCoy feud started cuz somebody forgot to give a Christmas present.) Then there are rude, poorly-raised children who don't even bother to say thank you, even when you've handed out gifts in person. The stores are noisy and crowded with scowling, in-a-rush people who've forgotten The Reason for the Season. And the roads and parking lots? Don't even get me started.

But y'know what I hate worst? Not being able to write!

Even if I don't have a deadline hanging over my head (which is rare), it seems the computer is made of iron, and I've got an invisible magnet inside me. While I'm addressing Christmas cards, running errands, wrapping presents, and performing any of a dozen other mindless chores, my over-fertile imagination is hard at work. Ideas percolate and, like one of those old-fashioned camp coffeepots...

...and all too often fizzle out as they bubble onto my overheated brain.

So I guess in addition to the 14' tree that looks surprisingly like Laura Bush's, and home baked goodies, and gaily-wrapped presents, and a house that glitters and shines like a silver ornament, I'm giving the gift of love. Cuz let's face it: If I didn't truly love these people, no way I'd stay away from my computer this long!

Strange, but during those long, harrowing days between Thanksgiving and New Year's, martyrdom becomes a truly pretty thing. HOHOHOHO!

Seriously, now that I'm 95% ready, I've joined the ranks of those who are looking forward to a big fat stocking, hung by the fireplace with care. (Oh, who am I kidding? I'll settle for a sloppy one with a hole in the toe.) I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve, when my beloved and I attend Midnight Mass, and come home to a peaceful and pretty house to share a cup of mulled wine (and whatever it might inspire ).

Then we'll both settle down for a long winter's nap, knowing centuries ago, during those same hours, the world's most holy miracle took place.

Merry Christmas, everybody. I look forward to hearing from you all soon. Meanwhile, take care of yourself and those you love, and here's hopin' the new year will bring you health, happiness, peace, and prosperity...and a few Dreams Come True.

All my best,

Loree

P.S. I just finished a terrific novel, written by Sharlene MacClaren. Courting Emma is going straight to my Keepers shelf!

Writing IN SPITE of the US Postal Service

Well, good grief. It's late November already. Thanksgiving is over, and it's time to drag the Christmas decorations out. How did this happen, when only yesterday, it seems, I was making potato salad for our big July 4th shindig?

It's also time to address and stamp Christmas cards. (Yes, I said Christmas cards. My Jewish or Athiest pals know that I respect their religious beliefs--or lack thereof--so they don't have a problem with my choice, either.)

But I digress. My beef today is with the US Postal Service. It bugs me no end to pay nearly fifty cents of every hard-earned dollar to mail cards that, in all likelihood, won't end up where they're supposed to, thanks in no small part to the US Postal Service. (Seriously, there's so little 'service' attached to that once-grand institution that using the word is akin to false advertising.)

If I listed every complaint, why, I'd run out of blog pace. And if I listed the complaints of my neighbors, friends, and relatives? Cyberspace ain't that big, m'friends!

Example: Went to get my mail the other day, and found my across-the-street neighbor's stuff in the box. I opened theirs, thinking mine in there by mistake...and found mail belonging to the people two doors up. And in their box? Mail intended for people who live two streets over, and in theirs, the mail for someone who lives in another zip code!!!

Example: My 85-year old uncle makes one-of-a-kind fishing rods for a living, and sent one to my husband, overnight via the US Postal Service. Two weeks later, he called to see why his ungrateful niece hadn't acknowledged receipt of the gift. He put a tracer on the package that showed up two months later...in a different box.

Example: My royalties check was due May, '07. June rolled around...still no check. Super-suspicious of the post office, I called the publisher's bookkeeping department, and learned they'd mailed the money on May 1, 2007. While they were busy cancelling the check, I filled out direct-deposit forms. And wrote my congressman, the Postmaster General, the Better Business Bureau, and just about any other agency I could think of. Again. Wasting not only my time, but postage, as well, because nothing was done to improve the situation.

Example: This one was 'big news' in Baltimore a few years ago.... A substitute mail carrier dumped every bag, sack, and package in a Columbia park, where she sat munching Fritos and sipping Coke instead of delivering the mail. Rumor had it she opened every envelope that resembled a greeting card, and kept the cash and gift certificates. And what didn't blow away was ruined by the driving rain. When caught, she received some sissified wrist-slap as a punishment. My idea of 'reap what you sow'? "No more mail delivery for you, m'dear, ever!"

The settlers of the Old West received better service from Pony Express riders, who had to contend with robbers, wild animals, and angry Indians! Whatever happened to the duty-bound postmen of our childhood, who lived by their "Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night will keep me from my appointed rounds" motto?

Everybody I talk to, here in Maryland and across the country, has experienced numerous problems with the US Postal SERVICE. Complaining accomplishes nothing. Writing letters gets us nowhere. So what are we to do?

We stop leaving Christmas gifts for our letter carriers, that's what. We quit standing in those long lines, waiting our turn to be treated with disrespect and impatience by the so-called professionals behind the counter. We pay a dollar or two more, and send all our packages through UPS, FedEx, Parcel Plus, MailBoxes, Etc. We tell our publishers to direct-deposit advance and royalties checks into our savings accounts. And when the US Postal Service ceases to exist because other companies are doing their job--and doing it better--we'll applaud!

So next time you're wondering why you haven't received a paycheck, or an envelope full of reader mail, don't blame your publisher's bookkeeping department. Don't blame your agent. Blame the high muckety-mucks who run the US Postal "Service". And don't be shy when listing your grievances with them, because at nearly half a buck for each stamp we stick to the upper right corner of every envelope, we have a right to experience the SERVICE promised by the post office.

Merry Christmas, y'all.

Loree

Book Signings...blaaaa

Good morning, y'all!

This somewhat blurry image to the left was taken at a book signing. (From the right: Anne Knoll, Robin Bayne, Mary Jo Putney, and yours truly.) I plugged it into today's Blog Post because lately, one question keeps coming up at the conclusion my workshops:

What about book signings? Is there any point to them? Do they help 'move' books?

(Okay, so that's three questions, not one, but the theme is the same.)

Book sales are most definitely the result of author signings, but that isn't the main reason we put subject ourselves to such torture. And make no mistake: Book signings can be humiliating, painful, boring, lonely functions where, if we're lucky, we'll sell a dozen books. Unless of course, we're NY Times best sellers like Mary Jo. And since most of us are mid-list unknowns....

We agree to participate in these so-called selling campaigns because it's a great way to meet book lovers, face to face. You can lure a few browsers to your table with Hershey Kisses and M&Ms, and when they grab a handful...all's fair in love and sales.

While they're happily munching free sweets, common decency compels them to make eye contact, participate in a moment of idle chit-chat, prompted, of course, by you. Your charm and wit and friendly personal will inspire even die-hard (insert your genre) haters to pick up one of your books, and pretend to read the back jacket blurb. And half of those will purchase an autographed copy.

Admittedly, the eat-and-buy customers are few and far between. Unless you're a big name like John Grisham or Dr. Phil, they didn't come to the bookstore to meet you. But even if the purpose of their spree that day was to snap up Bill or Hillary's latest tell-all tales, there's the ghost of a chance your book might end up in their take-home stack.

So how do you ensure that at least a few copies of your books will end up on readers' shelves?

You do your homework. And then you just plain work.

Set up signings on dates that makes sense. If your genre is romance, the Friday-through-Sunday prior to Valentine's Day is a smart choice. Horror, on the other hand, will sell better around Halloween. Books with beachy settings sell well to anyone planning seaside vacations. Try to get your author friends to sign with you. Worst case scenario, it's a great opportunity to catch up with what's been going on in one another's personal and writing lives.

Whether you're arranging a group event or a sole-signing, let the bookstore manager know you're willing to help market the event, that you'll set up and clean up and ham it up to help move as many copies of your books as possible.

Then, scope out the space, to determine the best spot for your table. Dress the thing up with a tablecloth, freebies like book marks, magnets, pens and pencils, a vase of flowers or a plant, and of course, the ever-important bait-and-hook baskets of goodies. Photocopy articles written about you, and provide samples of your author's newsletter or blog posts, a stack of business cards.

Make a couple of signs, announcing two-for-one sales, where you can provide one free copy of an old title with the purchase of your latest release. And by all means, display your books in fancy-schmantzy ways, to catch the attention of passers-by.

And unless you broke a leg or sprained an ankle, or were just released from the hospital following major surgery, DO NOT SIT DOWN. Stand at the end of your table, or better still, in front of it. Smile at people as they attempt to walk past you. Say a friendly "Hello!" and if their footsteps hesitate, even the slightest bit, shake their hand and invite them to have a piece of candy, grab a cookie.

Most of the time, I set up a smaller table, equipped with napkins and cups and stirring utensils, an urn of hot water, hot chocolate, instant coffee, tea bags, powdered milk, and sweeteners or, if the weather outside is hot and humid, chilled bottles of water. And while they're preparing their beverage, I explain that, since liquids and books do not good partners make, they need to stand with me while sipping.

And while they drink, and munch, we chat. Never about my books! I make a point to comment on what they're wearing, that cute baby in the stroller, the book(s) they've already decided to buy. Conversations that start with "My but it's hot/cold/wet/dry" will inevitably lead to questions about you, the author, and comments like "I've always wanted to be a writer...."

From that point on? Be your happy self and enjoy their company. When others see you, gabbing and laughing with a bookstore patron, they'll be more likely to step up, find out what all the hub-bub is about. And before you know it, you'll have a small cluster of folks, standing around your table.

If they all buy book, well, that's great. But if only one does? You've still made a sale, because they'll remember the friendly gal or fella who chatted with the day they went shopping for their nephew's birthday gift.

Book signings? Scary?

You bet!

But like Psycho and The Birds, excitement is good for your heart, so by all means, set one up.

Happy writing and successful signing to you all!

P.S. If you aren't published yet, rest assured, you will be.

P.P. S. If you're a reader with no intention of ever writing for publication? Attend your favorite authors' book signings. Even if you don't buy a book, they'll thank you for your support.

...for all the Write reasons

Hey, you guys!

Remember how, as kids, we'd wrinkle our noses and frown when our parents and grandparents said "My, how time flies!" Time, back then, seemed limitless. The days went on and on, no matter the weather...which is how it should be for children today, and for ourselves, too.

I cited the old 'time flies' adage yesterday. Twice! No surprise, really. Life demands that its residents cram 3 days into one. Or try to, at least.

When I get into 'rush mode', I'm reminded of the chipmunks' frenzied scramble to gather enough nuts to see them through the winter. You'd think once spring arrived, they'd slow down a tad, enjoy the fresh new scents and sights that go hand-in-hand with the season.

But they don't.

I can't help but wonder how joyless their little lives must be, with their attentions so acutely focused on staying one step ahead of Mother Nature. It's as if they believe they'll starve to death if they stopped racing, just long enough to absorb the beauty, budding all around them.

How different are we from the adorable rodent-cousins, as we rush hither and yon, driving children to and from school, athletic events, practice, lessons, church activities. We hurry to get the laundry done. Do the grocery shopping. Deposit that check. Put meals on the table (and eat 'on the fly'). Race to 9-5 jobs. Rush through our exercise programs.

The list goes on and on, and it's a rare day when we manage to check every item off our to-do lists. But what price are we paying for our 'get it done, quickly' lifestyles? Are we, like the chipmunks, missing the glory and wonder of our own little corners of the world?

A dear friend passed away very recently. Like the chipmunks, she spent her days (and far too many nights) in a flurry of activity, trying to turn 24 hours into 48. She managed to earn a Masters degree while working full time, performiing volunteer activities for a dozen organizations and charities, while keeping her house in pristine condition and her person the model of perfection. Do you know what this she said on the morning she died? "I should've taken more time to smell the flowers." She didn't say had more time, she wished she'd taken more time. She regretted that, in her drive to get things done, she'd missed important moments in her daughters' lives, in her husband's life, in her marriage.

Time is our most precious commodity; once it's gone, it's just gone, and we can never, ever get it back. Is it important to do the 'things' that keep us healthy and clean, organized, on time? Yep. No doubt about it. But skipping one step, omitting one chore--once in a while, anyway--won't banish us to the Dirty-Tardy time-out chair!

So let's make it a point to slow down today. Just a little. Do something out of the ordinary: Leave one errand un-run, omit one task. Our little corner won't disappear into The Black Hole of Space if we take a brief flight of fancy.

Grab a book, any book, then make yourself a soothing cup of your favorite tea, and savor the words as you sip its comforting brew.

It's my hope that when you step away from your R&R Station, you'll feel refreshed and renewed, energized in a way that enables you to see your loved ones in a new and different light, so that when you say "My, how time flies!", it will be a happy declaration, uttered in joy...not exasperation.

And the added plus: The invigorated new you can import these amazing and wonderful insights into your manuscripts!

Be good to yourselves. You've earned it.

All my best,
Loree

When Y'Wanna Write EVERYTHING

If you're like me, you hate sitting idly while editors and/or agents consider the merits of your latest work. And, if you're like me, you troll the Internet in search of freelance-type writing jobs that'll net enough in spendable cash to keep the wolf from the door.

So you write a snazzy cover letter to send out with your resume. You include your bio, clips of published articles, or a list of your books' ISBNs. Not just a handful, mind you, but a big fat stack of stuff that nearly gets stuck in the mouth of the mailbox.

And while you're waiting for these guys to call and say "Holy moley; the writing gods are smiling on me, cuz you're exactly what we were looking for!", you pace. Stare out the window, wondering where in heaven's name that confounded mailman is. Count the tiles on the kitchen floor. Maybe even try your hand at math: If there are 127 dots on every ceiling tile in your office, and there are 253 tiles, how many spots really are before your eyes?

Then, finally, it happens. The phone rings, and while you're writing fast and furious to keep up with the assignment Editor A is doling out, the mail truck rolls up. Lo and behold, an acceptance in the mailbox, too. Elated, you call Editor B to thank him for the assignment, and promise to get the story in-house well before the deadline.

You get busy, instantly, setting up interviews and researching the topics you'll turn into full-blown articles. And when you lay our weary head down that night, the last thing on your mind is the manuscript that's been idling on Editor C's desk.

Next day, you get two more calls. And another "Hey, give us a jingle, we'd love to work with you" letter. By the time every "i" is dotted and every "t" is crossed, there are five assignments on your desk. You do some more math: If each article takes 8-10 hours, you've easily racked up 50 hours of work ahead of you. Which wouldn't be a problem...if the articles weren't all due in the same week. And wouldn't ya know, that's the same week your college pal is coming to town, and your spouse scheduled dinner with co-workers, and you promised to bake cupcakes for the White Elephant sale at the volunteer fire company.

So why did you accept five articles, anyway? Why not say 'yes' to one or two, and beg off on the other three?

I'll tell you why. You took 'em all because freelancing makes Tom Cruise's risky business seem like a park walk; if you'd said no, the big fear is, those editors may move on to the next freelancer on their 'whom to call' list and cross you off, literally and figuratively.

Would that really happen? Probably not. Editors aren't stupid. They know a hard-working schmo when they see one. And being among the un-stupid, they also know that if you're too busy to say 'yes' this time, there can be only one reason: Some other smart editor has snapped you up. But it's the 'probably' that hangs us up, that hangs us, if we're not careful.

Having juggled a couple dozen personal and professional balls in a week is something I've done far more often than I care to admit. Doesn't seem to matter that I've established myself as a pro in this wacky industry, that fiction and non-fiction editors alike made it possible for me to make that claim. My schizophrenic brain is convinced that saying no is...well, if not career suicide, then certainly a pellet to the toe.

All-nighters? Survived hundreds of 'em! (Flavored coffee beans really do the trick, and for zero calories!) Is it worth it the dark circles even Maybelline can't hide as I dragging myself to the store to grab the lastest issue of Whatever Magazine, so I can snip out my article and add it to my clip book? Is it too high price to pay to sorta-kinda nod off during the drive to the bank to deposit my paycheck?

Yep. Uh-huh. You bet. Absolutely.

Do I say "Never again!" each time I file a story, then slam onto the mattress like a recently-felled tree? Yeah. I sure as shootin' do. Do I promise to quit beating myself up this way, to practice saying a firm but courteous "no" when editors pile assignment atop assignment? Mmm-hmm, I most certainly do.

Do I turn right around and say "yes" to the very first editor who calls on the heels of some other editor? A-yup. Indeedie. I do.

Am I that insecure? Well, yeah...and so is anybody who believes they're only as good as their last success. Actors, singers, comedians, artists...we all stared into the face of the hideous "But what have you done lately" monster. Doesn't matter if others believe you're sittin' pretty, got it made, reached the top. In your own head, the word NO rhymes with HAS-BEEN.

They don't call me a crazy writer for nuttin'!

Writing Despite (you fill in the blank).

Warning: This post contains stomach-turning words like puke and poop!

Yeah, so I'm yawning. Just be glad my dry heaves have passed. Quite a feat, considering I was awakened at 4:30 a.m. to the unmistakable sounds of Pet in Distress. Anyone with a cat or dog knows which noises I'm talking about...starts somewhere deep in their gastrointestinal system and works its way toward the throat, where it gurgles and sputters before becoming a smokin', stinkin', foaming mound beside the bed.

So I fling back the covers and gingerly set one foot, then the other, on the carpet. Experience has taught me to step lightly.... I tip-toed around warm landmines long enough that my success made me cocky. Haha! thought I, not a drop of the stuff between my toes! No sooner had I put the dot under the exclamation point of my boastful thought than squish. Which led to some pretty colorful expletives, whispered between my tightly-clenched teeth.

I'll spare you the remaining gory details. Suffice it to say that half a roll of paper towels and a couple dozen squirts of Resolve later, all was well. Even the dog. But my early-morning wake-up call got me thinkin':

When your day starts out this way, how do you write 'happy'?

It's tempting to finger-stomp around the keyboard, banging out angry scenes and snippy dialog. But gosh darn it, the stuff I'd saved yesterday doesn't call for narrowed eyes and snarling lips, let alone heated words.

I re-read all the adages and cliches stuck to my monitor. To the wall above it and the shelves around it. You know, stuff like "Good enough never is" and "What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure." But in my mood, they made a bad mood badder. Until I got to the one that goes "Do or do not; there is no 'try'." Happens to be one of my all-time favorites. I use it a lot when things aren't going my way. I find myself wishing, often, that others in my life used it more, too. ("Don't tell me you'll try to remember to wipe peanut butter off the kitchen counter when you make a PB&J sammich, just DO it." "Don't try to blow grass clippings away from my rose garden, just DO it.")

Easier said than done, to cite another oldie. Cuz my fairy godmother ran away from home, decades ago. Sad but true. Packed up her sparkly magic wand and glittery wish dust, and hit the highway, leaving me alone with my wall of 'sage-isms'. Much as I sometimes hate to admit it, Nike's "Just do it" works.

Deep breath, shoulders squared, spine straight, chin up. (That's my "Just do it" posture.) "I don't want to be in this bad mood. Wasn't the dog's fault, after all, that he ate god-knows-what and it didn't agree with him. So get over it, already. The mess is cleaned up. Heck, the house even smells good, thanks to the fresh scents built into the carpet cleaner. So look for the bright side":

I did wake up alive, for starters. The coffee pot didn't leak. Computer fired up, instantly; ditto the Internet. The file I'd saved yesterday popped up on command. And no one was injured while cleaning up doggy vomit.

Suddenly, my strange mind conjured ways I (or the dog) might have been harmed, cleaning up the...well, know.... The image of me, being eaten alive by a pulsing, growing blob of former stomach contents flicked the 'bad mood' switched to 'good mood'. And all is now well with my world. Mostly. If I choose to look for it.

So when you sit down to write and the mood you're in doesn't match the stuff going on in your scenes? Flex your 'picture this' muscles. See your world as it isn't.

Funny stuff, I tell ya.

Now my challenge is, how to get out of this mood before I go to the post office. Those people behind the counter never take the 'service' part of their corporate title seriously if you go in there with a smile on your face.

Happy writing, folks. And may your days be free of doggy...well, you know.

Loree

When Writers Write Wrong

Hey, y'all!

This post will be short (and I'll be back later today to add a real one).

First, I apologize to anyone who has visited, to read, write, or pose a question on a writing-related topic, only to find a long and unweildy list of disgusting comments. Let me stress that these stupid and inappropriate remarks were UNINVITED.

A few health and personal issues have kept me from popping over here to add new blog material, and until this morning, I had no idea! Well, I've just spent a couple of hours deleting some of the comments posted to this blog. Not the nice stuff, not even the stuff that disagrees with my stuff. Just the uninvited, inappropriate trash kinda stuff. It's gone. Ka-put. Erased. Deleted. And I've made changes to what people are allowed to post, to make it more difficult for these wackos to leave their nasty calling cards behind.

But you know the Internet: If there's a way to tear down a protective wall, some sick and twisted pervert will find a way. And y'all know ME...so if you drop by and see anything you think I wouldn't approve of, let me know, and I'll speed right over here and axe it from the blog.

Again, my sincere apologies for any offensive garbage you saw here. I intend to visit daily now, so I can slam the door on those obtrusive cyber-bullies. Maybe, if I do it often enough, their fingers will hurt too much to type!

Take care, and stay in touch!

All my best,
Loree

Writing through the holidays

Howdy, y'all!

If you've been as busy as I have, you've probably asked Santa to bring extra hours in every day. But just in case he doesn't come through, I have a plan:

First, I went through my files. Yes, ALL my files. Almost a hundred story ideas, all at various stages of development. If a manuscript had no hope of selling, even if it hadn't been submitted and rejected, it took a short flight straight into the trash can.

That left me with about two dozen stories, some fully-fleshed out, others just topics I felt could be turned into salable novel plots. I gave each a thorough read, to determine which might sell in today's market...and which cannot...and a few more files sailed into the already-full garbage pile.

Next I sorted through the remaining six story outlines, and put them in 'easiest to complete and submit' order, so that on January 2, 2007, I can perch on my purple exercise ball, fingertips curled above the keyboard, and dig in on 'the story of my heart' (working title "Defiance").

Make no mistake: The "Defiance" characters and storyline fits today's publishing trends. I see no point in making a difficult job even harder. I mean, why put time, effort, and energy into a book nobody but me wants to read! (The fact that I can write about a couple of my favorite topics, and wrap character traits around my favorite (and least favorite) personality types is a 'plus'....)

Yeah, I'll put my 'all' into "Defiance", and when I believe it's ready, I'll submit the synopsis and first three chapters. And before editors' fingers ever turn the pages, I'll be hard at work on the second story in my short-stack, "Tuxedo Bend".

I'm organized to a fault. If things aren't in order, I can't get anything done. Chaos--even a small amount--puts me into a never-ending tailspin of 'fix this' and 'do that'. In order to concentrate on a task at hand, my tiny brain needs to see and feel (and believe) all the ducks are in a row, all the T's are crossed, all the I's dotted.

There's no turning back; I dragged pounds of paper to the curb and cringed as two big guys hefted the can into the back of the trash truck. Maybe the rats and roaches at the landfill will enjoy reading what no agent or editor ever had.... As the squealing, grinding gears of the vehicle moved down the road, I found myself relaxing. Smiling at my new-found freedom....

Each manuscript DISproved the 'out of sight, out of mind' adage. I thought of them every day, sometimes more than once a day: Could a few be rewritten? (If so, which?) Could I weave elements of one novel into the plotline of another? Might 'this' character perform better in 'that' story? Knowing they were as gone as last year's Christmas fruitcake opened my mind in a brand new way.

As an avid gardeners, I know that sometimes, when a plant malingers, harsh pruning is in order. Lopping dead stuff off, whacking back to the original plant is the only way to get back to healthy green chutes and big fragrant blooms I once enjoyed.

I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.... Cutting those dead, never-salable stories from my files made room for stronger ideas that will bear publishable fruit.

My advice to you? Instead of asking Santa to deliver more hours in the day as your Christmas gift, ask for 3 uninterrupted hours you can use to prune YOUR files. I promise...it'll be a gift that keeps on giving, for the space you'll create in your office will cry out to the Universe "Fill me!"...and new ideas will appear like magic beneath your Christmas tree....

I'll close by wishing you a merry Christmas, a happy Hannuka, a wonderful 'whatever you celebrate' during this holiday season. And may 2007 allow you to meet all your goals, and let you see at least a few of your dreams come true.

All my best, Loree

NY AGENT Featured Guest Speaker 11/11

Here's hopin' all's well with you and yours!

I'm still dryin' out from a long, soggy weekend at our early-attic-furnished cabin in the Allegheny Mountains. Fortunately, the cloud cover didn't interfere with our satellite signal, and we were able to watch hours of Discovery Science and Animal Planet. (Don't tell my hubby, but I've fallen in love with Survivorman. )

First, let me tell you how much I've enjoyed (and learned!), reading your posts here at The Lough Down. Please, please, please...keep it up. Your ideas, comments, and suggestions are a source of inspiration...and the foundation of many articles. And remember: Posting qualifies you to attend one of my Leading Edge Writers' Studios workshops at a discount...or absolutely free...simply by reminding me you've posted....

Speaking of which, the next Leading Edge workshop takes place on November 11th. As always, we'll begin the day in Kahler Hall's Marchand Room at 9 and hit the road at 4. (If you've submitted 5 pages for a free critique, I'll meet with you at day's end.)

Our guest speaker this session is New York's own Jan Kardys, whose years of experience in the industry have prompted her to open the doors to her own literary agency. She's willing to meet with you, one-on-one, during the workshop...provided you've registered by November 3rd...for a 15-minute interview.

FYI: The past few workshops have been such a hit that plans are in the works to host weekend and week-long writing retreats at Caribbean, U.S., Canadian, and European locations. (More information on cities and hotel/B&B will be available soon, so check back to find out if your home town or dream destination is on the list.)

The Leading Edge practice of featuring industry experts as guest speakers will, of course, remain intact. Nationally renowned best-selling authors, NY editors and agents, a handsome Britain-born leading man, and a gorgeous Hollywood starlet are but a few examples of 'featured guests' who will participate in the retreats. Each 'star' will address specific areas of the industry (PR/marketing, taxes, securing agent representation, copyrights, contracts, etc), and will be availble for private interviews, autograph and photo sessions, and ordinary conversation during sit-down meals. Sign up for as many how-to sessions as you please, use the time to tour our host cities, or just 'shadow' your favorite guest speaker! (Naturally, I'll deny making that last suggestion....)

Until those plans are a little more 'firmed up', the Leading Edge Writers' Studios continues to provide students with day-long nuts-and-bolts workshops that promise to meet the needs of writers, regardless of genre or skill level. As always, breakfast, lunch, and beverages are provided for you, along with numerous handouts and all writing materials. (Visit www.loreelough.com or ShawGuides Writing Workshops (type Leading Edge Writers' Studios into their 'search' block for more details).

Oh...and remember: A percentage of your registration fee is earmarked for The Wolf Sanctuary of Pennsylvania, so you can feel doubly good about signing up, since your hard-earned dollars will do far more than help you excell as an author, but will provide much-needed help to the magnificent residents of Speedwell Forge, as well.

Hope to see your shining faces on November 11th. (Pssst...did I mention that if you mention this blog posting when you register, you're automatically eligible for a 10% discount to the workshop of your choice?)

Meanwhile, take care!

All my best,
Loree

Writing workshop

Yes, Virginia, there's still time to register!


Loree Lough's (that's me! hehehe) popular Leading Edge Writers' Studios intensive, all-day workshop (Sept. 16, 2006 in Columbia, MD) has just a few openings left, so get your registration in soon!

For those of you who don't know, I founded The Leading Edge in 1999, in response to numerous requests from students and mentees.

Built on 15+ years' teaching experience (which includes my very own "Build a Better Novel", "The Elements of Fiction", and Writer's Digest classes, to name just a few, The Leading Edge is dedicated to one clear-cut objective: Helping you launch or enhance your writing career.

WHAT YOU'LL GET WHEN YOU SIGN UP:

Meals and beverages,

writing materials,

detailed handouts,

in-class exercises,

free one-on-one critiques (submit 5 pages by 8/15/06),

guest speaker (entertainment attorney this time!),

discounts (early registration, senior citizen, student, referrals),

the benefit of my 20+ years' writing and 15+ years' teaching experience,

and a whole lot more!

The Leading Edge will teach you how to turn your ideas into salable proposals. Learn what agents and editors want--and why--thanks to powerful tools and step-by-step instructions structured to de-mystify the write-to-sell process.

For more information, or to print a downloadable brochure and/or registration form, visit http://www.loreelough.com and click the Lectures/Workshops tab.

Hope to see you there. Meanwhile, keep those fingers on the keyboard!

All my best, Loree

Writers Beware....

For going on twelve years now, I've been invited to speak to writers' (and other) groups in the U.S. and abroad, discussing a wide variety of writing-related topics. From the hundreds of questions I've answered, I can always count on hearing one:

"Has anyone ever plagiarized your work?"

The simple answer is, a-yup. And if there's time during the Q&A period, I delve into the more complicated issues surrounding this thorny subject....

First, to tweak Bill Clinton's now-famous quote, everybody needs to be on the same page regarding exactly what the definition of plagiarism is. Fortunately, my dearies, it's waaaaaay simple: Plagiarism is stealing. It's taking another author's work and passing it off as your own.

The law specifies how many words, lines, paragraphs you can "borrow", and sets forth clear-cut rules outlining how. (Footnotes, quotes, identifying the true author and the source of the material you're "using".)

Okay, sure...there are lotsa times when it's sorta kinda almost necessary to borrow another author's work, say, in a history-type book. I say 'almost' because I've written lotsa non-fiction-historical-school-type stuff, and managed to find numerous ways to state facts and cite examples without taking the 'borrow it' shortcut: I did my own research.

Then there's the matter of "Do I need the authors' permission to quote 'em?" If you've given proper credit, followed the 'how much borrowed' rules and regs to the letter, the answer is usually 'no', but if the author is living and breathing, it'd sure be an Emily Post kinda thing to do....

Still...there's more to this prickly subject than first meets the eye. Borrowing other authors' written words and giving proper credit has long been standard policy for writers. Reporters do it all the time. Why, more'n'a few of 'em have quoted me. And to be truthful, if somebody thinks I'm good enough to quote, and they're honest enough to give me proper credit, I'm honored. Flattered. Heck, I welcome the free publicity!

Unfortunately, that particular practice isn't what I'm getting at here.

Taking somebody else's property--whether it's written/published words, or a jacket from a restaurant coat room--is stealing. And stealing is a crime. And in the eyes of most God-fearing human beings, it's a sin.

Since plagiarism is taking someone's words and tucking them amongst your own (maybe even amongst words you've...ahem..."borrowed" from other authors) without getting permission and/or giving proper credit? That's PLAGIARISM.

Having experienced first-hand what it's like to have my hard work stolen and passed off as A Thief's, I understand only too well the frustration, anger, and helplessness plagiarized authors feel.

Yeah, living by The Golden Rule is a great idea, and it's long been my motto. But it's a scary world out there; what choice do I have but to face a cold, ugly fact of life: Today's world is overpopulated by parasites who don't feel even a twinge of guilt when they take what isn't theirs and claim it as their own, no matter how many favors you've done for them, no matter how many years you've dedicated to helping them launch their writing careers.

So what do I do about it? Oh, I could sue The Thief...and fritter away my hard-earned money. But that could take years (and at my age, I don't wanna waste one precious minute!). I could confront The Thief, yet again, and see if maybe this time, I'd get some inner satisfaction upon hearing an admission of guilt. But narcissists don't change, and I couldn't stomach another chorus of "I'm an innocent victim, and you have an overactive imagination!"

Surviving a go-round with this "The world is my oyster and I'm entitled to all the pearls" leech taught me a very valuable life-lesson: I can't let stuff like this get to me, cuz another cold, hard fact of life is...if I let it get to me...I pay for The Thief's crime.

Instead of vengeance, or wasting even one precious second wondering why The Thief feels no tug of conscience, taking what's mine and passing it off as her/his own, I take comfort in the old "What goes around, comes around" adage....

All criminals think they're above the law, smarter than the rest of us, able to avoid being seen for who (and what) they are, indefinitely, with no price to pay...and "my" thief is no exception. But that smug, superior mindset is precisely what tripped up other scumsucking narcissists like Ted Bundy and that Enron bastard. And sooner or later, it'll trip up "my" plagiarist, too.

When it does, that's when I'll get my satisfaction.

Some advice to anyone who's considering the plagiarism route:

Live by The Golden Rule. Don't take something that cost someone else countless hours of blood, sweat, and tears...then pretend it's yours. Because no matter how cleverly you disguise it, or how cautiously you attempt to explain it, or how many times you try to rewrite and rework it, the words will never truly be yours. And even you can't hide from that cold, ugly fact of life.

Instead, trust your own instincts, have faith in the talent God gave you, and use your own stuff! Yeah, it might take a little longer to "get there", doing things The Right Way, but when you arrive, you'll be able to look yourself in the mirror...and genuinely like who you see. And if, upon arrival, you're greeted with applause, awards, admiration (money!)...you'll enjoy the kudos, because you'll know it was earned, not STOLEN.

If you steal, you're a thief.

If you're a thief, you're gonna get caught.

And when you do, I'll be front and center, whistling and clappin' when the world learns the truth...

...about YOU.

Business Management

Yeah...crazy as it sounds, artsy-fartsy types like us hafta dig in our heels and make the business of writing an important part of our daily lives. To do otherwise is career suicide.

Why is savvy thinkin' so critical? Well, consider the fact that there were almost 200,000 different titles published in 2005. The guys and gals who authored those books are your competition.

To succeed--and continue on the road of success--you have to understand readers, publishers, editors, booksellers and buyers, agents, royalty and advance rates, copyrights, and yourSELF.

Do you have what it takes to come up with salable ideas? If so, do you have what it takes to turn those ideas into salable manuscripts? Can you KEEP ON creating salable stuff for publishers by massaging editors with stories so fantastic that they not only trust you, but come to count on you for 'more of the same' as well?

You need a business email address. A web site. A blog...and if you're really savvy, a video blog (vlog). You need to belong to the 'right' writers' groups. Make smart alliances, because networking is important for a dozen different reasons. Get to know booksellers, so you can beg and plead, when your next book is about to hit the shelves, for some 'special handling'.

You need to consider writing a 'break-out book'. Sequels. Series books. Fiction and non-fiction. Teach some classes. Say 'yes' to some speaking engagements. Make yourself 'different', and do it now!

Will you write 'the book of your heart', or the book publishers are clammoring for? (Or will you figure out a way to combine the two?) Will you hire an agent? Change agencies? Work without a net?

I could go on (and on and on), but you get the point: There's waaaaaaaay more to being a multi-published author than writing books. Publishing companies don't have the budget any more to 'hawk' their authors. That's a job we have to do, ourselves. If we aren't willing to dive in, head first, and do the dirty-gritty-shameless self-promotional stuff, we'll end up one trick ponies.

Maybe.

If we're lucky.

(I can name a handful of writers who will ride those ponies to the grave, and be perfectly content with one, very old success. Not me! I don't have the personality to beat a dead horse, over and over, year after year. It'd make me feel like a complete and utter failure, cuz I'm the type who wants RECENT success...the more recent, the better. Why? Well, cuz it's affirmation--not just to my readers and students (that I really AM everything I claim to be), but to editors and publishers, as well. And THAT is what keeps my nose to the grindstone, year after year, series after series.

Sounds hard, doesn't it? Well, it's supposed to be hard. If it was easy, every numbskull would be doing it...and succeeding in your place.

If you haven't already written up a business plan, give it some thought. You'll be pleasantly surprised what a difference it'll make in your mindset...and your success.

So what're ya sittin' here reading for, when you could be writing Your Plan!



Until next time, stay safe and healthy!

Loree

Writers' Conference Preparation

So you've registered to attend a writers' conference, and signed up for a private meeting with an agent or an editor...or both....

Having sat through a couple of each myself, I know it can be a knee-knockin' experience, especially if you go unprepared to 'the den' .

I sat through enough of 'em that I many have moved from my 'mere acquaintences' to my 'writing pals' list. So now, when we get together, it's to discuss the ways this wacky, ever-changing industry has affected us personally (well, and professionally, too, of course)...lately.

When I'm invited to lead conference workshops or give speeches for writers' organizations, question about these meetings often crop up. So I decided to add tidbits gathered from my own agent/editor sessions to direct questions I've asked them over the years. The result? A one-hour workshop entitled "Those Critical Ten Minutes".

Let me abbreviate that hour for you, here:

1. You need to decide whether a meeting with an agent, editor, or both will best advance your career, and schedule a session as quickly as possible so you won't be forced to decide "if your first choice isn't available, who else would you like to meet?"

2. Figure out long before the meeting what type book you'll pitch. If it's fiction, is it genre fiction or mainstream? Whether fiction or non-fiction, you need to be very comfortable with your THEME.

3. Who's your audience...or...who will read your book?

4. Is the book a one-time-only deal, or do you hope to write sequels or updated editions?

5. Can you describe the entire book in ONE SENTENCE?

6. What's your writing experience and/or what credentials make you the best person to write this particular book?

7. How is your book different from others like it?

8. How much do you know about the company 'your' agent or editor works for (or owns)?

9. Dress as though you're going to a job interview...because you are.

10. Bring a 3x5 card with you, and if you have one, a business card. On the 3x5 card, write:

a. your book's title
b. your book's THEME
c. a brief overview of your story (major characters only, conflicts, how you'll resolve them, and how the book ends)

Some direct quotes from my agent/editor pals:

Don't be intimidated. We belch after a hearty meal, same as you!

Understand your own story well enough to sell it. Don't meander around the theme. If you can't describe your plot in a sentence or two, you're doomed.

Don't tell us it's a viable story, show us!

Know what we're looking for, and for the luvva Pete, don't try to talk us into buying something we can't publish or represent.

Know what other books, similar to yours, are selling...and why.

Know how we prefer to receive submissions.

LISTEN! Everything we tell you during one of these meetings is free advice, so take advantage of it!

So there y'have it, boys and girls, from the experts, themselves. No reason not to sign up for a meeting with an agent or an editor...now that you know what's expected of you!

Here's hoping you'll sell whatever you pitch! Meanwhile, write on!

Writers Gone Wrong

So here it is, the month of May already. How's that possible, I wanna know, when it seems only yesterday I packed up the Christmas decorations!

So lemme tell ya a story....

A pal called me yesterday, in tears over what someone she'd considered a friend had done to her. Brokenhearted, she didn't know how to react to what she called 'blatant betrayal'.

"I held her hand through every stage of her career," my pal said, "took her under my wing, introduced her to others who helped advance her writing career. And what did she do? She stole an idea I'd been working on for years and passed it off as her own. Now, if I use it, it'll look like I stole it from her." On the heels of a shaky sigh, she added, "If not for me, she wouldn't even be a published author!"

I didn't have the heart to tell her she was dead wrong: This so-called friend would have found a way to get into print even if she had to fork over tens of thousands of bucks to do it. She's the type who'd have taken advantage of anyone, anwhere, willing to help her. It's a darned shame it had to be my pal but, as the sages say, if it quacks like a duck, it's a duck...

...or a seasoned hunter, tootin' a duck call to lure prey....

No doubt about it. If this "friend" hadn't abused the kindness and generosiy of my pal, she'd have screwed somebody else. I'd bet my next book contract she has abused somebody else...probably dozens of somebody elses. Why am I so sure? Simple: Narcissists and parasites both bleed their hosts white, then drop off once they've had their fill. (It's no accident that when we whisper the words "narcissist" and "parasite", they sound kinda similar....)

Most writers are by nature giving, sharing, helpful people. We remember all too well the hard-scrabble struggle it took to get our books on the shelves. If we can spare somebody a few bumps and bruises as they make the same trek, we're gonna do it, even though there's a chance we'll get our butts kicked up 'tween our shoulder blades in the process.

My pal? Oh, she'll cry a while, grieve at the loss of this so-called friend. She'll cuss a little, beat herself up a bit, call herself a sap. Stupid. Naive. Say stuff like "I'm not as mad at her as I am at myself, for letting her take advantage of me!" But in time, she'll get over it.

And y'know what? Next time a fledgling writer asks for her help, she'll willingly, happily give it. I've known this gal for a couple of decades. She's not the type who'll allow "a deliberate knife in the back" to turn her sour on would-be authors. She'd be the first to say it wouldn't be fair to judge 'em all by the behavior of one narcisstic parasite.

In a few months, when she's feeling stronger (less stupid, naive, and sappy), I'll tell her about a similar experience I had not so long ago, and how I consider myself doggoned lucky, because in nearly twenty years in this wacky business, I've only been kicked in the teeth once. Amazing, considering I've mentored literally hundreds of hopeful writers.

'Lucky' is the operative word here. I didn't get all savvy and sophisticated because that one painful event taught me something about myself, about human nature, about parasites and narcissists. Like my pal, I went right back to doing everything in my power to help new writers; I have their decency to thank that I bear just one scar from a painful 'backstabbing incident'.

Those of us who've been fortunate enough to write the right story at the right time, submit it to the right editor under the right circumstances are, for the most part, gonna keep right on sharing learned-the-hard-way writing and publishing lessons, because that's they kind of people we are. And the writers with whom we share those lessons are, for the most part, good and decent people who wouldn't dream of biting the hand that's feeding them helpful information.

My pal learned a tough lesson this week, one of the toughest: There are a few bums out there who'll don whatever costume is required to get 'em what they want. Some will need to honk duck their calls quite a while before they can walk away, backpack fulla limp foul in tow. Others are such masterful 'honkers' that they'll lure their prey in no time at all.

One thing's sure: The narcissistic parasites out there have built-in radar that leads them to straight to suitable hosts. So here's hopin' when they zero in on us--my brokenhearted pal, you, me--we'll have so much information in reserve, there's no way they can bleed us white.

A word to all you narcissistic parasites (and you know who you are), I hear your life cycle is frignteningly short. Enjoy your phony balonie success while it lasts, cuz it's only a matter of time before the publishing world realizes what you already know: If not for your lies and thievery, you couldn't make it on your own.

The rest of you? Write on!

Writing Research

In this installment of The Lough Down, we'll tackle a problem that has confused and distracted writers since, well, since the dawn of writing...research:

Q: Loree, please help me! How much research is sufficient in preparing to write a novel? I mean, if one of my characters is Chinese, do I need to visit Moscow?

A: Well, gee. Of course you don't have to go to Singapore just cuz a guy in your book is a former citizen. There are dozens of ways to research for accurate details without going straight to the Asian's mouth:

Surely someone you know knows somebody who's from Asia. Set up a lunch date with that person and enjoy some lively, one-on-one discussions about the homeland.

Visit your local library and/or bookstore, and read everything you can get your hands on about Asia, its history, climate, customs, etc.

Call a nearby college or university to set up an interview with a professor of Asian language or history.

Did someone you know visit Asia lately? Ask them to share photographs, memories, maps, etc., of the trip. Find out what s/he liked and disliked about the place...and why.

Rent some videotapes. Visit a travel agency. Get online and find out about the country's folklore, lullabyes, clothing styles, food. Experience the culture and the people any way you can. And if you can afford it, by all means, book passage on a Asian-bound 747 (keeping in mind, of course, that I'm handy with a travel iron, should you need a valet...).

And when you have a tidy stack of information available to you, sprinkle some of those facts and details into your story!

One thing you do NOT want to do: Put everything you learned into the story.

I know a writer who did a ton of research for a novel. I'd have to guess after several years, there was a couple hundred pounds of paper in her office, all related to South America. Trouble was, she felt obliged to show off all she'd learned about the continent by inserting every shred of the stuff into her story. So much so that the characters stopped talking like real people and started sounding like history professors. BORING history professors. The plot slowed to a plodding, hum-drum pace. (I remember one scene in which her characters were walking through a museum, listening to the drone of an overhead speaker; "much-needed" information wafted down to her readers appearing in italics....)

Would you be surprised to learn that, although she 'shopped the book around' to dozens of agents and at least as many publishing companies, she didn't sell the story...and ended up shelling out $30,000 of her husband's hard-earned money to have it self-published? Would you be shocked to know that she can't give copies away fast enough, and that of the 2,500 books delivered to her garage five years ago, nearly 2,000 still sit in their original packing cartons in her basement? (Her husband, sons and daughters-in-law claim to love the book...when she's within earshot. But I've been present on many occasions when she isn't near enough to overhear what people say about "that so-called novel". All I can say is, God bless her friends and family [myself included] for protecting her from the ugly truth!)

Research is like makeup: Too much and you just look silly; too little, and you look, well, flat. And it's a little like medicine: "If one pill works in 20 minutes, FOUR will work way faster and better...." The end result of nonsense like that is...you get sicker. You might even die!

The bottom line is simple: When we over-do research, we end up with dreary, meandering plots that, even when self-published, disappoint and/or bore our readers. (And remember, our first readers are agents and editors!)

So exercise extreme caution when positioning research...or prepare to wonder what unspoken thoughts lie between the parantheses when your friends and family say, "Great story (that reads like a high school history book)!" or "I couldn't put it down (fast enough)!" or "I had to wait my turn to read it (thank God!)."

Now, off with you, and may your own writing be 'research perfect'!

A Little Altrusim Never Hurt Anybody

So how do you like my friend, here? Gorgeous, isn't he? He's part of my computer's desktop, and I look forward to having his eyes meet mine every time I sign on.

I've been enamoured of wolves since the early 90s, when I researched them for a novel I was writing. Started collecting 'wolf stuff' back then...a plaque here, a statue there...an over the years, I've accumulated more than 100 'wolf things'.

Quite by accident, I found a wolf sanctuary in Pennsylvania, about a two hour drive from my house. What a place! You can find similar organizations near you online. Doesn't hafta be wolves. Maybe your wildlife 'love' is tigers, or monkeys, or bald eagles. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how many individuals and organizations are out there, dedicated to the protection and preservation of many species.

You'll also find it satisfying and fulfilling, doing something positive that will help your chosen critter. Yes, I fully support every effort being made to improve the lives of The Wolves of Speedwell Forge. And yes, I've made a vow to dedicate a portion of my income every year to The Wolf Sanctuary of Pennsylvania. Of course, those magnificent animals benefit from my donations.

But I have to be honest: What my contributions do for my soul can't be bought with dollars and cents. If I could, I wouldn't just write checks, I'd buy a little house nearby, so I could see the results of my so-called good works.

If you aren't already involved with a similar project, try one on for size. I guarantee you'll love how it makes you feel. (And just imagine how your readers will react when you put those emotions into the stories you're crafting!)

Well, that's it for now. Until next time, take care, keep those keyboards clackin'!

All my best,
Loree

Should You Attend Conferences?

I received so many questions on this topic that, despite having posted today, I decided to post again.

Q: Loree, I've read so much about the benefits of attending writers' conferences, but even the local ones are expensive. How do I know which to spend my money on?

A: Start by asking your writer pals, those who are veteran conference-goers. Talk to writing instructors who routinely lead workshops at writers conferences. They'll direct you to the most popular listings...and the gatherings that provide the biggest bang for your buck.

At first, you'll be overwhelmed with the list that accumulates. Never fear; you can abbreviate it by sorting out the meetings that don't require air or train transportation, and reduce the list yet again by selecting gatherings whose advertisements promise to deliver what you're looking for:

Agent and editor appointments
Networking
Workshops
Food
Contests
Critiques
Etc.

If you have a partial or complete manuscript, you might be ready for a face-to-face meeting with an agent or editor. Most times, these pre-scheduled appointments are included with your registration fee. If you're asked to pay (and the fees vary) for this service, make sure to check out the credentials of the person you'll sign up to meet. (Does this person represent a recognized publishing house or literary agency? If s/he is a published author, getting paid to evaluate the salability of your work, what qualifications have been provided [# published books, teaching and/or editing experience, etc.].)

Networking is an invaluable thing. Writing, by its very nature, is a solitary profession. For the most part, authors work alone, so it's a wonderful thing, meeting with folks who have the same needs, ambitions, problems, and lifestyles. I can't say enough about the added potential of meeting people who can literally move your career to 'that next stage'. Writers are generous (sometimes to a fault), and will happily share learned the hard way lessons with you.

Workshops range in skill level, providing how-to information for a brand-new writer...or someone who's been in the business a long time. You can usually tell by workshop descriptions whether or not the material is tailored to meet your needs.
Whether you'll buy your own meals or the writing organization provides food as part of your registration fee, take advantage of every opportunity to commune with your peers. Laugh, share experiences (the good, the bad, and the ugly), and leave with a full stomach, a satisfied soul, a happy heart, and a few new friends.

You'll decide well in advance of a conference if you'll submit your work as a contest entry. The prize could be monetary...and it might be the glorious experience of having your submission reviewed by a professional editor or author, and the feedback can be invaluable! (Most contests do require an entry fee, usually between $25 and $50.) If the contest judges are members of the writing organization, there's nothing wrong with asking that your entry be read by someone with experience...rather than 'just another member' who is no more qualification to know a salable piece of writing than you are!

One-on-one critiques, like meetings with editors and agents, can also be a very good thing...provided your critiquer has the experience and the qualifications to give a thorough assessment of your work. If it seems I'm repeating that theme a lot, it's because I am. Too many authors have been led far afield by "teachers" who fabricate or exaggerate their credentials. Consequently, the information they provide is faulty, at best. I know writers who have literally lost years trying to fix the mistakes that were the result of bad advice from faux instructors. DON'T BECOME ONE OF THEM!

How do you check out instructors' credentials? Demand proof they are who and what they claim to be! If they say they've been teaching for years, find out where, and then check it out! (Too many so-called teachers are running their own private programs--some out of their own homes!--and are not unaffilitated with an accredited college, organization, etc. Still others claim to be members of legitimate faculties, but because of lack of enrollment, they've never actually taught a course at that school! You owe it to yourself, your future writing career, and your wallet to investigate the validity of instructors' claims.

Conferences can be entertaining and educational, and well worth any expense associated with them. If you do your homework carefully and completely, you'll come away satisfied that you met some cool people and learned a few things...which means your money was well spent.

I've been invited to speak at several conferences this summer, starting with the PennWriters annual get-together near Harrisburg, PA in May, 2006. For all they're offering, attendees will surely get their dollars' worth. I've seen the speakers' list, and except for a name or two, the faculty passes even my rigorous muster. PennWriters is one of those 'not too small, not too large' conferences, great for a first-timer who might fear getting lost, with an anticipated attendance of about 150.

For a more intimate setting, try my mini-conference: The Leading Edge Writers' Studios. Maximum attendance is 40...perfect if you prefer a quiet, one-day event. (Visit http://writing.shawguides.com/TheLeadingEdgeWritersStudios/ for more information, and if you mention this Blog when you sign up, you'll get a discount!)
See you next time, when I'll go into more detail about what to do (and expect from) those important editor/agent meetings. Meanwhile, take care, and happy writing!

Writing Questions

If you've had a romance novel published, you've heard that question, at least once. Maybe at a party, a family gathering, at a work-sponsored event. You can't predict when, exactly, somebody will pop The Question. You won't know who will ask it, either, but sure as your novel is for sale on bookstore shelves, somebody will matter-of-factly want to know "So, when're ya gonna write a real book?"

Like most romance authors, I've given a lot of thought to appropriate responses. Y'know...pleasant, yet 'put-them-in-their-place things' like "Romance novels are real books!" or "Gee...cover, plus typed pages, plus price tag, equals real book, right?" Wouldn't it be great to say the things we're forced to bite back: "Do you always ask assinine questions, or did they put something weird in the onion dip?" and "Funny...you don't look like a social misfit...."

So there we stand, blinking, thin-lipped smiles firmly in place as we rack our brains for ways to defend the genre. (That others put us in this position is, in and of itself, odd; I've never heard anyone ask a trash collector when he plans to get into a good clean line of work. or inquire of a gigalo when he plans to get a real job.)

It's especially tough when The Question comes from some vanity-press-published bum who considers it his duty to educate all breathing humans in areas of his expertise (and naturally, in his mind, he knows everything). Admit it, you've met him somewhere, sometime: "My stories are HIGH CONCEPT," he gloats, nose in the air, trying to bend that self-satisfied smirk into something akin to sympathatic proof how very sorry he feels for poor li'l Romance Writer you. He shrugs, because in his swollen mind, there's no hope for you. "I simply cannot," he adds on an exasperated sigh, "write LITTLE stories...."

You pray he won't notice as your eyes narrow and your face turns a shade redder. Maybe he won't associate your sudden lisp to the fat tongue you've developed, biting back what you'd like to tell him. Then again, what can you say to a...to a boob like that?

So instead you stand there, considering your options:

List all the justifiable reasons you write romance novels?
Ignore the arrogant (unpublished haha!) gasbag?
Kick him in the shin, and when he bends to rub the sore spot, add a quick knee to his pointy, girly chin?

Fun (and tempting) as that last idea would be, here's what I plan to do next time some social clod asks The Question:

First, I'll summon a Jack Nicholson expression...eyebrows arched and eyes wild...like the 'look' he wore in the courtroom scene with Tom Cruise. "You can't handle 'a real book'!" I'll snarl.

Now I ask you, won't that be romantic!

Well, that's it for today's post. Tune in again soon, when I plan to hop on my soapbox to discuss contests, conferences, balancing a job and writing, what to do when your editor has a baby....

Visit (http://writing.shawguides.com/TheLeadingEdgeWritersStudios/) and check out my brand new listing. If you register for a Leading Edge workshop (and mention that you read about it here on my Blog), you're eligible for a 10% discount!

See you again soon. Post your comments and questions. Vent, if you prefer! As always, take care...

...and treat yourself like Company today! Loree

Here it is, the end of yet another week...bringing January to a close in merry old Maryland. My biggest complaint this month isn't with January, but with Mother Nature: Choose a season and stick with it, y'loony ol' bat, cuz this see-sawing from Winter to Spring is driving me (and my crocuses) nuts!

In all fairness to Ma Nature, she's been around a while. Maybe menopause has set in, and the crazy mood swings are hot flash-related? If that's the case, what she needs, I think, is a plan. A list of sorts she can stick to, regardless of her temperament at any given moment. An outline even, that'll help her focus on what she should do instead of what she feels like doing....

So the question is:

The Lough Down: To Outline or Not...?
by Loree Lough

Q: I just finished my second book, and have started a third (none yet sold). I had to totally re‑write the first book...twice! Published author friends say it's because I don't use an outline. I don't want to go through all those rewrites again, but I'm afraid a formal outline will inhibit my creativity. Besides, I've heard that successful authors like Nora Roberts don't outline, so why should I?

A. People who know me well call me a hard worker; "'Loree' and 'lazy' don't belong in the same sentence," they say. Maybe that's cuz, even when they stop by unannounced, my house is spic‑n‑span, the laundry and dishes are done, the spice racks and pantry are alphabetized, and the clothes in my closet hang in color‑order...by sleeve and hem length.
Before you sharpen the blade on your guillotine, allow me to make a confession: I'm the laziest person I know. Those 'neat house' things? They’re the direct result of—you guessed it—outlining.
I make an outline before leaving for the grocery store, an outline for annual, monthly, daily goals. Some might call them 'to-do lists' (to which I say pah‑tah‑toe), but outlines are what keep me organized, and being organized is what allows me to park my lazy butt, guilt free at the end of the day, and do, well, whatever my lazy butt wants to do!
For example, I outlined every one of the more than 2,000 articles and 49 short stories I’ve had published. I outline lesson plans for college and Writer’s Digest online writing classes. Speeches on writing‑related topics are (you guessed it) outlined. Each of my published romances were written after I'd completed (a‑yup!) an outline. Far from inhibiting creativity, outlines free me up to tell believable stories without fear of sagging spots, uncharacteristic dialog, anything that might cost me time consuming re‑writes.
As for your Nora Roberts comment?
Even writers who don't create formal outlines make outlines. But they're the natural‑born storytellers we all aspire to become; they know, instinctively, what belongs in a novel…and what does not. Like fine chefs, they know exactly when to add a pinch of tension, a dash of conflict, when to turn up the fire, when to let a story simmer. Maybe years of experience is their secret ingredient. Perhaps natural talent is their trademark 'spice'. Possibly, delectable stories are the result of seasoning and a God‑given gift.
Okay, so I’ve earned dozens of industry and readers’ choice awards for the 50-some books in print, but until I've see hundreds of my books on the shelves, I'm gonna keep right on a‑doin' what I’ve been a-doin’, cuz it works for me.
Because let's face it...
...there’s only ONE Nora Roberts.

So that's it for today, kiddos. Now, search your mind for a question, a comment (disagree with me if you must!), a suggestion for others reading this column.

Until next time, here's me...wishing you a wonderful weekend (while hoping Mother Nature gets her act together and decides...is it winter, or is it spring?)

All my best, Loree

Writers and Self Marketing

The Lough Down: Does Self-Marketing Pay Off?
by Loree Lough

So...here's hopin' everybody had a productive weekend. Mine was terrific. Not only did I manage to celebrate my grandtwins' third birthday...but I did it without gaining an ounce. (Why doesn't birthday cake taste as good without icing as it does with?)

Good news from the hope-to-publish front...the non-fiction queries I shot hither and yon 2 weeks ago have resulted in several editors asking to see "the whole thing". (Can you hear me yelling "YIPPPEEEEE" from there?) I followed my self-made Rule of Twelve: Send out 12 queries, without exception, for every idea. Big net, but this time, it 'caught' the attention of 8 editors. Not bad odds, eh?

Are you wondering how I'll handle it if all 8 editors who asked for (and received) the full proposal package 'bite'? Simple: I'll follow my 'First Come, First Served rule. But what, you ask, if the next editor offers more money? Alas, that's the price I pay for being ethical. If these hard-working folks will go to bat for me during editorial board meetings and I waste their time and talents arguing why the company should publish my project...then jerk it back from 'em...do you think they'll fight for me next time I submit to them? Exactly. S'nuff said.

Part Two of the 'First Come, First Served' rule: Call the other 7 editors and ask them to recycle the submission package. They won't ask why. (At least none have so far....) Guess I'd better come up with a battle plan so I'll be ready if one does ask why, eh?

Long as we're on the subject of submissions and distantly-related things, here's the question of the day:

Q: My second book will soon be out, and I'm wondering about the effectiveness of ads in writers’ publications, in print, and online. First of all, isn't it mostly authors who read those publications? They don't buy books, readers do. Since I'm not convinced the ads affect readers' choices, I'm not convinced ads are a smart business expense. That said, I see no reason to self-promote, either. As my wife says, "Relax. Be patient; someday you'll be a 'big name' and won't need to sweat the small stuff."

A: First of all, authors DO read the work of their peers. It's how we support friends and contemporaries, and it's enjoyable, too!
Second, you're right. Ad space can cost big bucks. The bigger the publication's audience, the bigger the bucks. But consider this: Authors like Pat Gaffney, Diana Palmer, Nora Roberts, Sandra Brown, and Patricia Potter are betting that buyers ARE affected by the ads. And since there's not a name on the list that isn't immediately recognized by their fans, I'd have to say ads ARE a smart business expense.
Third, as for self-promotion.... My publishers don't do much to promote my books, and they don't pay particularly well, which means limited funds for PR and marketing. However, though I don't have the money to advertise like the 'big names', I realize the value of having my name and book titles seen in all the right places. So...

* I send press releases announcing my latest book to the local papers
* which inspired an article that was read by
* a producer at the local cable station
* who invited me to be an on-air guest.
* I also teach writing at the community college.
* I volunteer whenever and wherever I can.
* I make myself available to head up workshops and/or seminars.
* I give speeches (NSA, AAUW, writers’ organizations, schools, etc.).
* I attend writers' conferences
* I agree to lead workshops at these conferences
* I provide newsletter editors with info about my books.
* I write this column, and share it with editors of other newsletters....

Sounds like a lot of work and a huge time commitment, doesn't it? Maybe that's because it IS a lot of work and a huge time commitment! But it's worth every minute and every ounce of energy expended, because whenever my name appears anywhere, for any reason, my books are being advertised...FOR FREE!
According to your husband, you can relax and someday achieve 'big name' status by writing, and with no extra effort on your part, your name will make the 'big' list. Now, it isn't that I don't believe in miracles...it's just that I don't live on 34th Street. Like it or not, I live in the real world, alongside people who know the answers to these questions:
When ‘the big guys’ became 'big names', did they stop volunteering to help their local RWA chapters?
When ‘the big guys’ earned 'big name' status, did they stop heading up workshops?
When 'big name' was used to describe ‘big names’, did they stop making themselves available to speak at conferences?
Did being a 'big name' inspire any of them to stop advertising and promoting?
No offense to your wife, but it takes more than time, patience, and a completed manuscript to become a 'big name.' It takes hard work, and lots of it. The 'big names' once stood at the same crossroads where you stand now. I don't know what becomes of writers who set up house 34th Street, awaiting their miracle, but I know what happens to those who chose to live on Reality Road: After they rolled up their sleeves and dug in their heels and put their noses to the grindstone, they made it big.
My advice to you: If you want to be a 'big name' someday, you'd better be prepared to 'sweat the small stuff' today.

So what are YOU waiting for? You have questions, or maybe comments about an already-posted Lough Down. Bounce 'em over, and I'll lob 'em back...answered!

'Til next time, be good (and if you can't, be well)!

Writing Instructors

So, how the heck have y'all been! Swell, I hope....

Since I promised in my first post that this blog is for you, I'm going to start publishing my column (The Lough Down) here for your review. Today, I'll post six columns that have appeared in a variety of online and print newsletters around the country, thanks to newsletter editors of writing organizations I've joined. After you've read a few, send me your questions, and I'll do my best to find accurate, cutting-edge answers.

Let's start with this one:

The Lough Down: Beware Faux Instructors
by Loree Lough

Q: I’m thinking about registering for a writing class, but the price is a little steep for my budget…and I’ve never even heard of this teacher. Any recommendations?

A: First, high fives to you for wanting to improve your style, your voice, your understanding of The Craft. But your "I've never even heard of this teacher" comment tells me you're a smart shopper.

I’ve met far too many writers who’ve made the mistake of letting uncredentialed instructors lead them astray with misinterpretations of information “borrowed” from the pages of how-to-write books. “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach” might be true in other fields, but in publishing—an industry that requires writers to stay a step ahead of the latest trends—you can’t teach others to do what you aren’t doing yourself!

In my decades in this business, I’ve learned a ton of stuff at The School of Hard Knocks, like “Never take anything for granted” and “Spend your money wisely”…solid advice for members of any profession, but particularly useful for writers. The money we’re paid in exchange for countless hours of research, interviews, writing, and rewriting too often adds up to less than half the minimum wage… especially early in our careers. Forking over a portion of earned-the-hard-way cash to enroll in a writing class is important stuff, so we owe it to ourselves to make wise choices about the types of classes—and instructors—we’re spending that money on. (If I had a dollar for every student who told me how a writing instructor’s half-baked lessons led them astray, why, I’d have a couple hundred bucks for sure!)

There are literally thousands of writing classes, workshops, and seminars listed online, in pamphlets distributed by area community colleges, on 3x5 cards tacked to local library bulletin boards. Some are affordable, others can empty bank accounts. If, like any smart shopper, you’ve done your homework and believe the lessons you’ll learn are worth the price, go for it.

But before you scribble your name on a personal check, do yourself a financial and professional favor…and check out the teacher….

While it’s been my experience that most writing instructors have the credentials to teach, I can list far too many whose ‘padded CVs’ match nothing more than their bloated egos…and do not qualify them to teach others to write.

You wouldn’t let some dude on a street corner who claims to be a pediatrician examine your baby. You wouldn’t let some stranger who knocks on your door claiming to be a roofing contractor put new shingles on your house. Is the decision to further your writing career by signing up for a workshop any less important?
You owe it to yourself to find out:

Can the instructor’s “multi-published” and/or “award-winning” claims be backed up with legitimate books—produced by legitimate presses—on the shelves? (Look for copyright information about the book(s) in question; if a publisher isn’t listed online, it’s probably a ‘vanity press’.)

Have the instructor’s so-called “awards won” been provided by real and existing organizations and institutions…or are the kudos nothing more than fiction, written to further pad the instructor’s opaque CV? (I suspect there’s a long list of books for sale—in bookstores and online—written by what we in the industry call Wanna-Bees, and published by glorified printing companies rather than by respected publishing houses.)

Are claims of “years of teaching experience” bona fide…or more fiction? A phone call to the institution(s) will teach you a thing or two about the teacher; if no schools are listed, ask the instructor for names of the school(s) where the teaching experience was acquired. Then call the institution(s) and check it out. (Far too many so-called teachers’ names are listed as ‘Faculty’, but they’ve they ever actually taught the course(s) listed. And let’s face it: Anybody can re-type pages from ‘how to write’ manuals and pass them off as “classroom handouts”, but do you want these people teaching you?)

There’s a very good reason ‘Let the buyer beware’ has become an almost-clichéd adage….

Well, there y'go. The first of many columns that'll hopefully help you find your way around the publishing maze.

See ya soon!
Loree

This and That and On and On

So...congratulations...y'all survived Friday the 13th!

Spent my Saturday helping The Hubby decorate his office in 'the new location', then came home to clean out my own old files. Found some of my old writings, and to be honest, I wish I didn't have the hard copy reminder of what a HORRIBLE writer I used to be! Soon as I find a box big enough, I fully intend to shred it all and refile...in the county landfill!

Several of you asked who cleans my house, since my 'to do' list seems rather long on any given day. Gotta admit, I do it myself. Now before you gasp and sputter and roll your eyes, remember that old commercial where the gal said "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful". If you replace 'beautiful' with 'nutball', you'll have a better understanding of my...nutbally-ness. Seriously, I figure all these activities are good for my marriage: While I'm busy organizing and cleaning, writing or teaching or this-ing and that-ing, I'm not saying "What...ANOTHER football game????" to my husband. (Dr. Phil, if for some freaky, far-out, Twilight Zone kinda reason you're reading this, I'd be pleased to outline my Happy Hubby Plan on your show, any ol' time!)

When I finished stacking my "ugly writings" in a pile, I wrote a 'blurb' for a writer pal's first novel. Next, I'll 'attack' the contest entries on my desk, and then I'll have no choice but to complete what I've been putting off for weeks: photocopies of handouts for my Elements of Fiction students. Class starts on Tuesday...ack!

Hey! I have a writing question for the buncha yas: If you could list just one thing that prompts you to park your butts in front of your computer every day to write, what would it be?

And now it's time for me to sign off and head for my teeny-tiny kitchen, where I'll whip up one of my favorite recipes. My youngest daughter, married just 2 short years, brought this to Christmas dinner and I've made it 3 times since!:

Cornbread Cassarole

1 stick butter, softened
1 cup sour cream
1 can (drained) corn
1 can creamed corn
1 box Jiffy corn mix
1 beaten egg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine ingredients and pour into a 9x12 baking dish (no need to grease the pan). Bake for 1 hour. (Terrific with 5-alarm chili!)

Take care 'til next time!
All my best,
Loree

Loree Lough's "The Lough Down"

Hey, everybody...my first post on my first blog!

The purpose of this blog is YOU, my readers and writing buddies. The Lough Down is where you can come, any time, to ask questions about...whatever writing-related topic you can think up!

After today, I won't post a bunch of personal stuff; that'd be inappropriate, since this is YOUR place. But for those of you who haven't heard from me in a while, here's a brief update:

Thankfully, after several years of illness (and adjusting to the loss of my closest friend), I'm writing full time again. The family is happy and healthy, and even my neurotic formerly-abused dog has adjusted to his new life. My 'to do' list is longer than it's ever been....

• I've pulled out all my old fiction files and, one by one, I'm updating each (four are with my agent, who is talking 'contract' with various editors);
• nonfiction ideas are now full-fledged proposals under consideration at several publishing houses;
• I'm part of the Writer's Digest faculty, teaching fiction and nonfiction online (www.writersonlineworkshops.com) ;
• my one-day workshop is about to be unveiled (dates and location to be announced very soon);
• my web site is undergoing a major rehaul (if you have time to visit www.loreelough.com, let me know what you like and dislike. The person with the most suggestion(s) will win a copy of my latest release);
• I'll be a guest speaker at numerous writers' conferences in 2006 (hope to see you at one of them!).

There's more, but I don't want to be responsible for the big goose-egg you'll get when boredom causes you to nod off and thump your head on your desk.

So that's it for today. I'll check back soon to see what questions you'll have about writing, marketing, the publishing industry, etc.

Take care until then!

All my best,

Loree